I have felt his magic. I have felt my mother's. I am pretty certain he is far more powerful. But everyone is acting as if he has already lost.
“It is going to be very traumatic for him,” Selwyn says tonelessly without looking at me. “The fear will make him lose.”
That doesn’t sound right. “Dyfri is not scared of anything!” I declare with false cheer.
Selwyn whirls to face me. His eyes blaze. “Do you know how rhocyn are made?”
Loki whimpers. I stroke her ears. “No,” I say meekly.
Selwyn’s shoulders slump. The light goes out of his eyes. “I forgot you wouldn’t know. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I whisper.
“A rhocyn is made when they lose a duel. The victor can choose death, or banishment. Or they can cut the defeated's hair and make them a resyn.” Selwyn pauses. “Or the victor can unbind their foe’s hair, take them in the circle, and make them a rhocyn.”
Take them? As in…? No, surely not.
Is Selwyn saying that Dyfri was challenged before and lost, and was… At the actual duel. In front of everyone there?
My hand flies up to cover my mouth.
“It was just after his name day. He had just come of age. He never stood a chance, but he fought so bravely. I will never forget it.”
A wretched, tortured sob tears out of my throat. Selwyn was there? He saw?
“I’m so sorry!” I wail. I’m not even sure I managed words. I think it was more of a noise than a sentence.
Selwyn hurries over to me. His hands go to my shoulders.
“Laurie, you are not to blame.”
“My… My Mother!” I sob as my shoulders shake.
“Your mother is responsible for her actions, not you.”
I can no longer talk at all now. I am crying far too much. It is lovely of Selwyn to say such kind things but no one else is going to think that. They are all going to know where to lay the blame.
The entire reason my mother has an excuse to challenge Dyfri, is because of my foolish, thoughtless, impulsive action.
“Laurie, sweetheart. It is not your fault. Your mother is playing the game. She wants to sabotage Dyfri’s marriage to the Prime Minister’s son because she doesn't want to share power with other humans.”
Selwyn stops abruptly and inhales sharply. “I mean, I am sure she does care for you and your reputation too.”
I sob even harder, and now I want to laugh hysterically too. I know my mother doesn’t give a shit about me. Selwyn is being so sweet. But he is a terrible liar. I can see why fey rarely try to tell falsehoods.
He steps even closer to me. His head bends down, and he tenderly kisses a tear away. Then another. And another. Soft lips brushing over my cheeks.
I let out another terrible noise and fling myself at him, wrapping my arms around his back. He returns my clumsy embrace and holds me tight.
If he holds me for long enough, maybe a miracle will happen, and everything will be all right.
Chapter thirty-two
“She wants her roots to go deeper,” I say as I open my eyes.
Selwyn beams at me. “She does. Well done, Laurie.”
A blush heats my cheeks, but it is not one of shame or embarrassment. I’m blushing because I am pleased and proud, and a little shy.
