The words linger. Meaningless sounds. It takes a long time for me to make sense of them.
Who is Queen Mab? My thoughts move like treacle, thick and sluggish. Mabon didn’t like being called Mabs because it made him sound like his mother. And really, what connection do I have to any other queen?
Queen Mab must be Mabon’s mother. But she has never given me a token. However, her son has given me an earring.
My hand goes to my feathered earring and then I jolt. Apparently, I have a ghostly body. I don’t think I had it a moment ago.
The ferryman shakes his head.
I’m so confused. Then I remember and my hand moves to the other earring Mabon gave me. The plain gold one. The one I had forgotten all about. The gift he gave me in exchange for getting him away from Duke Carian.
The earring that is actually a token from Queen Mab that means the ferryman cannot take me to the afterlife.
The ferryman slowly nods his head.
What the actual hell? This cannot be happening.
Mabon gave me immortality?
Back when we barely knew each other?
“Are fey immortal?” I splutter suddenly as the suspicion hits me.
“No. Long lived. Not immortal.”
Oh lord. I think if I had a real stomach I’d be sick. Mabon gave me his own immortality? This makes no sense at all. Why would he do such a thing? Getting him away from Carian wasn’t that big of a deal. I know it wasn’t. People don’t go around giving away their own mortality.
Unless they are in love.
But he can’t have fallen in love with me so quickly? Surely? I don’t understand. But maybe fey do fall in love like that. Perhaps they look at someone and go, yep, that’s the one. Maybe they have the power to recognise their soul mate.
A thousand emotions hit me with the strength of an exploding star. I’m so overwhelmed that I feel as if I am spinning.
But he only unbound his hair for me last night?
Now I am doused with coldness. But a moment later, warm realisation dawns on me. He was waiting until he was sure I felt the same.
I think. I don’t know. I could be making this all up. I have no idea and nothing makes any sense. I do know one thing, though. I know it with a certainty that burns.
“If you can’t take me, send me back! I have to help him!” I blurt out forcefully.
I have never felt more frantic. I’m terrified. Desperate. Mabon needs me. Puzzling out why he gave me such a gift is not important right now. Nothing is. The only thing that matters is Mabon’s safety.
“Your body is uninhabitable. The healing is not done.”
Damn it! This cannot be happening. I cannot let it happen. The Resistance aren’t going to wait around for me to come back to life. I’m going to wake up in an empty car park and Mabon is going to be long gone.
“This token is not supposed to be mine! Queen Mab’s son is in danger! Take me across your river and help him instead! Please!”
It’s a bargain I am very willing to make. It is fair and justified and oh so worth it.
“No. Once it has been given, it cannot be returned. Even if it could, I am not beholden to aid, only to not ferry.”
My scream of frustration should roll out. It should echo and reverberate. Instead, it fills the space between us and hangs there. All my rage, anguish, and heartbreak on full display.
The ferryman stares at it. He intimately examines my soul while long, long moments pass.
“Revoke your gift and I will help your beloved.”
