I lean back against his chest and get comfy. I really hope we are staying for a nice long soak. Sex is great, but I think I might like cuddles just as much. I’m such a soppy idiot.
Rhydian seems in a good mood and strangely, I’m proud of that. Unless it has nothing to do with me at all. Oh no, I can just feel all my doubts and insecurities waiting to rush in.
“Was I any good?” I blurt. “Last night,” I add, probably completely unnecessarily.
“Yes.”
Is all Rhydian says, but I hear amusement and fondness in his voice. I don’t think he would lie. I’m not even sure if fey can lie. That’s one of the things from the old tales. And he definitely had an orgasm and seemed to enjoy himself, so I can’t have been that bad. I need to have some faith in myself.
I wonder if he will let me blow him soon. I’m still dying to try out everything Dyfri taught me. Which reminds me,
“Can I see Dyfri today?”
It feels like I haven’t seen him in forever. And it feels like I have so much to tell him, but really the only thing that has happened to me is that I’m majorly getting the hots for his brother.
“No,” says Rhydian.
“Because I’m hanging out with you today?” I say hopefully.
“No.”
I’m pretty sure I’m pouting, but at least Rhydian can’t see the face I’m making. I don’t want to spend the day alone. Not even with a radio. If Rhydian doesn’t need me, why can’t I go see Dyfri?
“Is he busy?” I ask.
“No.”
Oh. A coldness grows in my guts. Twisting them uncomfortably. “Does he not want to see me anymore?” Is what Rhydian said about Dyfri hating to be seen as weak and hating feeling beholden to me, true?
Rhydian sighs. “I don’t want you seeing him anymore. You were getting far too close.”
I twist around to glare at him. “I’m not allowed to have friends?”
His eyes narrow. “Watch your tone.”
I spin back around and cross my arms over my chest. What a smug, condescending, arrogant asshole.
“Jamie,” he says softly.
I ignore him, even though my heart is doing a happy little dance at the sound of him using my name.
“Friends will get you hurt here. You are too kind. You were willing to sacrifice yourself to save Dyfri.”
Memories of the banquet come flooding back, and I squirm. It didn’t feel like much of a sacrifice in the end. It felt like a mind numbing orgasm from Rhydian. But I’m not going to let him know that I’m apparently a kinky freak who doesn’t mind exhibitionism at all.
“You can’t save him, Jamie. You can’t save Dyfri. You can’t save me. You can’t save any of us.”
His soft words sink into my soul and rattle around my mind. The look of bewilderment in his eyes as he contemplated the idea of a kind mother replays in my heart.
I let out a loud huff of disagreement. I can’t save him? We will see about that.
Chapter twenty-one
“Where are we going?” I ask as I try my best to keep up with Rhydian’s long strides. This is not the way to his office, or any of the dining rooms I’ve been to. I think this is the way to the courtyard where we met the terrifying carriage, but he has said nothing about leaving the palace today.
I jump over a patch of dark green moss that is oozing out of the carpet. A tiny twinkling giggle rings out and makes me shudder.
“Rhydian, where are we going!” I ask again.
