Sammy will never talk to me again. Let alone offer me comfort. I’ve not only lost a mate, I’ve lost a best friend. All because I am savage enough to hit him with cruel words. I took my own emotional mess and threw it at him. I wanted him to hurt like I was hurting.
I’m such an asshole. Sammy’s blood and body are his to do with as he pleases. There was no need for me to be a dickhead about it. But regret never fixed a thing. I can’t undo what has been done. Can’t take back my spiteful words. No matter how much I want to.
I need my pool. I don’t think I’m going to learn anything else here. And there is nothing I can do to help.
I quietly get to my feet and slip out of the room. I pad down the hallway towards the back door.
“Blue,” says Ned behind me.
I whirl around to face him. Anger spikes and floods my veins. His betrayal hurts. I thought he was my friend. I thought all of us in the harem had each other’s backs. I believed we had an unbreakable bond as brothers. Clearly, I was so very wrong.
He has to know how much Sammy means to me. But he didn’t care. He just wanted blood. Whatever the cost.
My rage is a hissing, spiteful thing. Part of me knows it is wrong. If Sammy is free to give his blood, then Ned is free to ask for it. But I don’t have the strength to try to calm my fury. It’s too strong for me to face.
“I have nothing to say to you,” I say coldly before turning sharply on my heels and striding away from him.
As I approach the pool, I strip my clothes off and let them fall carelessly where they may. I dive in, but the water does not provide much relief. I sink to the bottom and huddle in the corner.
Someone has fed the fish, and they are all busy at the other end of the pool.
Is this my life now?
My hand wraps around the talisman again. A sudden yearning for the ocean hits me with the strength of a hurricane. I miss it with all my heart and soul. I’m homesick. Deeply. Terribly. And I have been for a very long time.
And there is nothing for me here.
Not anymore.
No reason to stay.
It’s an hour’s drive to the ocean. Once I’m under the waves, I’ll be safe. No one will be able to hurt me. Or betray me. I’ll have all the fish in the ocean for company. I don’t need people. People lead to pain of one kind or another.
I rise to the surface. No one is here. I hurry over to my storage box, throw on some clean clothes, and turn on my phone. It takes a few minutes to write the email, and then a few more to figure out how to schedule it to send in an hour.
I turn the phone off and drop it into the storage box. It feels good. Librating. My decision is made, and it is final.
I can’t scare everyone and make them think I’ve been abducted. I’ve let them know that my leaving is my choice, so my conscience is clear. All that’s left to do is face the future.
I skirt around the house to the driveway. All my senses are on high alert. But there is no one around. I don’t need to sneak away. I can just stroll out. Nobody is going to notice. Which just proves this is the right decision.
My heart aches as I get into one of the cars. I feel bad for taking it, but there is no other way to get to the coast quickly, or safely. As it is, I’m going to be watching my rearview mirror like a hawk.
I’m sure the boys will figure out where I’m headed. The nearest beach is the obvious location. As long as I leave the car somewhere easy to find, they can retrieve it.
I start the engine and drive down the driveway. It’s so hard not to look back. But I manage it. The future is in front of me. Everything else needs to be forgotten. Apart from Sammy. That would be impossible.
I will miss Sammy forever. Pine for him for the rest of my life. I’ll dream of him always and never forget him. But he is a part of my past. I need to let him have a future. With someone who deserves him.
I have to go. Keep my eyes set on the horizon. Seek new waters.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
Chapter twenty-eight
Sammy
Afirm knock on my door startles me from mindlessly scrolling TikTok. My heart flutters. Is that Blue?
