“Ready?” asks Pink.
“Yes,” I say clearly, so Sammy can hear me and the false confidence in my voice. I hope it is of some comfort to him.
I close my eyes and try to brace myself. Somebody lights more herbs, the mandrake root, I guess. The smoke contaminates the air. Cloying, heady. Heavy. A chime sounds and chanting begins.
Magic coils around me. It probes. It prods. It pulls.
Suddenly something snaps. I almost hear it. Like an awful crunching of bones. A sound of savage destruction and mortal injury.
I wince.
The chanting stops. The world holds its breath. Was that it? Surely not? Something so very monumental can not be so…anticlimactic.
Tentatively, I reach for the bond, but it’s not there. Nothing but a gaping emptiness where it should be. Sammy is gone. From my mind, from my awareness. Untwined from my soul. But not my heart. Never my heart. That will always belong to Sammy.
“You guys feel okay?” asks Pink.
I sit up and twist around. Sammy is blinking up at the ceiling. He looks pale but unharmed.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lie.
I’m not fine at all. I’m like the mate bond.
Broken and empty and utterly destroyed.
Chapter twenty-three
Sammy
My room is spinning. But I still feel sad. This vodka is useless. I need something else. Something stronger. But this stupid house is out in the suburbs and it’s a long walk to the shady parts of town. And I’m out of cash.
Goddammit.
Every five minutes I’m finding myself standing here, staring at my door, expecting Blue to come check on me.
But he can no longer feel when I’m sad. He can’t sense me at all. And his comforting presence that was in the back of my mind at all times, is gone. Now I feel lonely in my own head. Which is absurd.
I take another swig of vodka from the bottle. It doesn’t even burn anymore. Not even five seconds of physical pain to distract from my emotional agony. This is pointless.
My chest hurts. I feel like I’m dying. Lord knows I’ve had my heart broken before. But nothing has ever felt like this. I don’t know how I’m supposed to get over this. The wound is too deep to ever heal.
Jesus fucking christ. It wasn’t even real. It was never a true relationship. Blue was straight up about that. It was never anything more than a magical mishap. And now it has been fixed.
I should be celebrating. I’m free. So is Blue.
We can continue with our friendship without any stupid mate stuff confusing things and muddying the waters. We’ll be best friends and nothing more. Blue is wonderful. We get on likea house on fire. He simply doesn’t see me that way. And why would he? Why would anyone? Jeez. I wouldn’t want me. I’m a nightmare.
Besides, it might not even be personal at all. Blue doesn’t see anyone that way. It’s all fine. Everything is fine.
A loud sob echoes around the room. I rub at my chest. Oh lord. I feel so empty. So hollow. Like there is a big dark splodge of nothingness inside me and it’s slowly, inexorably spreading and growing. Devouring all of me.
Maybe I’m not being a wuss? What if something went wrong with the spell? Oh shit!
Fear spikes through me, and suddenly I’m staggering out of my room and through the house. I reach Ned’s room first, so I burst through it.
Ned looks up from tying his shoelaces.
“I feel like I’m dying!” I exclaim. “Did you guys mess up the spell?”
