Pink pauses in his folding. “Everything okay?” His far too knowing eyes search my face and I squirm under the scrutiny.
“I’m just worried about Sammy,” I blurt.
And that’s not a lie. It’s just not everything that is on my mind. It is my most pressing concern, however. So I’m claiming that it’s justified to only tell Pink this bit.
“What’s wrong with Sammy?” Pink asks.
And the genuine concern in his voice swells my heart. I adore how everyone loves Sammy. He deserves no less.
“I don’t know,” I shrug miserably. “He is avoiding me.”
“What do you mean?”
A heavy sigh escapes from my lungs. “Ever since Jade told us he could break the bond, Sammy has been staying away from me. Last night he was arguing with Ned about something and got really upset, but he wouldn’t tell me why. He practically ran out of the room as soon as I walked in.”
Pink’s eyebrows rise. “You two were as thick as thieves, what happened?”
“I wish I knew,” I say wistfully.
Pink resumes folding his clothes. “You need to ask him.”
“How?” I snap. “He keeps running away from me!”
Pink gives me a sympathetic look. The washing machine makes a strange noise. The air is too hot and close in here and the smell of detergent itches at my nose. I want to be back in my pool.
“Mate bonds are intense. Especially for humans because we weren’t made for them,” says Pink. “He could be feeling out of sorts because of that.”
My lungs tighten. Pink’s right. Why would Sammy want to spend time with me when I’ve done this awful thing to him? He was probably forgiving at first because the bond had barely formed. It’s grown now. Deepend and strengthened. It’s not surprising he has had enough.
“You think he will feel better once the bond is broken?’ I ask.
Pink nods. “Of course.”
I take a deep, pained breath and close my eyes.
“Hey,” says Pink. “None of this is your fault! What were you supposed to do? Let Sammy drown?”
Part of me knows full well that Pink is right. The rest of me is drowning in guilt.
Pink reaches out, and his hand hovers by my shoulder. I flinch away from him. He tries to keep a neutral expression, but I see the sadness and rejection in his eyes. I’m such a fucking mess.
“It’s all going to work out fine. We will sort this bond out and you and Sammy can go back to being besties.”
Is that what we are? Besties? Friends? Merely people who hang out together?
An anguished sob echoes around the laundry room. Oh Amphitrite! Did that noise really come from me? Pink is staring at me with alarm and surprise in his eyes, so I guess it did.
“Blue?” Pink says ever so carefully. “Do you like Sammy? Like in a mate way?”
I shake my head vigorously and blink away my tears. It doesn’t matter how I feel. Sammy clearly doesn’t feel the same way, and why would he? There are a million and one reasons why he wouldn’t, and a very big one is the fact that I can’t give him sex.
“You should talk to him,” says Pink.
“There is nothing to say,” I insist.
Pink sighs as if the weight of the world is on his shoulders. “What if you are being a pair of idiots and you both feel the same way, but neither of you will admit it?”
I stare at Pink. There is a lump in my throat and I can’t swallow.
