“What’s with the books?” he asks, his gaze bouncing from the stack to my face. His blue eyes are expectant, a little guarded, but mostly filled with intrigue.
I offer him a tentative smile, hoping he’ll understand. “I thought I’d give you your first reading lesson.”
The transformation on Sammy’s face is immediate and profound. His eyes widen to an almost comical degree, and his mouth forms a perfect ‘O’ of surprise. For a moment, he just stares at me, and I feel a pang of anxiety. What if he doesn’t want this? What if I’ve overstepped?
“There are a range of different stages here,” I continue, hoping to break the silence. “I thought we’d start by seeing where you’re at and then take it from there.”
Sammy’s eyes glisten, and his lips quiver slightly. It’s a heartbreaking expression, a mixture of disbelief and hope. “You actually meant it?” he asks, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re really willing to spend that much time on me?”
My heart aches at his words. How could anyone have ever made him feel like he wasn’t worth the effort? Sammy, with his laughter, his kindness, his warmth. He deserves all the time in the world and more. I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat, and hand him a brightly colored baby book, the kind with thick cardboard pages and vibrant pictures.
Our fingers brush as he takes it from me, sending a pleasant warmth through my skin, like touching a box jellyfish but without the sting. It’s a sensation that radiates through my body, leaving a trail of tingles in its wake.
Sammy looks down at the book, his brows furrowing in confusion. “Baby books?” he questions, with the faintest hint of a frown marring his features.
“It’s how I taught myself,” I explain with a shrug, trying to ease his discomfort.
His gaze snaps back to mine, his eyes filled with doubt. “I’m not clever like you,” he mutters, looking away. “I’m super slow.”
The vulnerability in his words tugs at my heart. I wish I could make him see what I see. The intelligence behind those beautiful eyes, the capacity for learning and growth. But he won’t believe me if I just tell him. Actions will speak louder.
“I don’t mind if you take all the time in the world,” I say softly, hoping to reassure him.
A blush creeps along Sammy’s cheeks, turning them a rosy pink. He looks back down at the book, his finger tracing the large, colorful letters on the cover.
“A is for Apple,” he reads, his voice barely above a whisper.
I smile, feeling a rush of pride and affection. “That’s right,” I say gently, leaning closer.
He looks up at me, a small smile tugging at his lips.
We spend the next hour working through a few of the books, letter by letter, word by word. Sammy’s concentration is intense, his brow furrowed in deep focus as he sounds out each syllable. Occasionally, he glances at me for reassurance, and each time I nod, offering encouragement and praise. His progress is slow, but it’s steady, and with each word he conquers, I see a flicker of pride in his eyes.
At one point, Sammy’s finger hovers over the page, tracing the outline of a word. “Because,” he says, his voice filled with wonder, as if the act of reading is a magic spell he’s learning to cast. He looks at me, and his eyes are shining.
“I’m doing it,” he whispers, almost as if he can’t believe it himself.
“You are,” I affirm, feeling a swell of emotion. “You’re doing great, Sammy.”
He grins, a full, radiant smile that lights up his whole face. It’s a sight that fills me with warmth and hope. This is just the beginning, I realize. There will be challenges, moments of frustration, perhaps even tears. But there will also be moments like this. Moments of triumph, of joy, of discovery. Having Sammy in my life, as a friend, is going to fill my world with wonder.
As we finish the book, Sammy leans back against his pillows, his expression a mixture of exhaustion and exhilaration. He looks at me, his eyes soft and filled with gratitude.
“Thank you,” he murmurs, reaching out to touch my hand but stopping himself and hovering his hand over mine. “Thank you for believing in me.”
I swallow tightly and take his hand. “Anytime,” I say casually.
I kissed him in the aquarium. Held him in my arms. Admittedly, it was to share my power with him, but after that, surely I can cope with a little hand holding?
Sammy’s eyes light up with delight and he gently squeezes my hand.
We sit for a while longer, and the room fills with a comfortable silence. The sun has dipped low in the sky, casting a golden glow over us, bathing Sammy’s room in a warm, amber light.
The stack of books on the bedside table seems less pathetic now. They are the first steps on a journey we’ll take together, a journey towards confidence, self-discovery, and a deeper connection.
Sammy shifts beside me, nestling closer, and I wrap an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a gentle hug. It almost feels like the most natural thing in the world. I can’t believe I’m doing this.
“I think we made a good start today,” I say, my voice a soft murmur against his hair.
