“We don’t do it like that in this pack,” I say as softly as I can.
I don’t want to embarrass him or make him feel ashamed. Me falling apart and weeping ‘your childhood was so fucking traumatic,’ won’t make him feel great. Keeping him safe will. Making sure nothing bad happens to him ever again will. Melting his mind with pleasure every night will. Those are the things that will make him feel great and help him to heal. Not my useless pity. It’s not like I have a time machine and can go back and fix anything.
His look has shifted from suspicious to dubious.
“Come on, let’s go to the playroom now and just watch. You can see how we care for pups.”
He gives me a worried look but nods. I lead the way. Fitz is going to break my heart. He clearly thinks I’m taking him to watch pups being beaten, and he is not happy about it. He may think his childhood was normal, but he is adamant about not inflicting it on others, even at the risk of not fitting into the pack and being the model omega I know he longs to be. He wants to belong more than anything, and I can really understand why. Yet he would rather risk all that, then hurt pups.
He is a better man than I will ever be. Innate morals that no one ever taught you, and the conviction to stand by them, is nothing to sniff at. I doubt I would be so strong. I’d likely crumble before peer pressure and desire to fit in.
I open the door to the playroom and step inside. Philip is in charge today and I give him a nod. The beta gives me and Fitz a curious look but doesn’t say anything. It’s loud and chaotic in here as usual. Several pups are running around amongst all the scattered toys.
“We put all the pups together in here during the day and take turns watching them. This way parents can get on with their pack chores, like the gardening and house repairs or paid jobs in town.”
Fitz stares around in bewilderment. I should give him a moment to take it all in. It is a lot. Noise. Color. Movement. A full on assault of the senses. I wait several heartbeats and then continue with my explanation.
“Everyone is really busy at the moment, so we could do with another person on the rota.”
Fitz has been happy to get stuck in with all other pack chores. It is why his refusal on this one is so annoying. He is not lazy.
“You don’t have a job in town and art school doesn’t start until fall. If you choose to go.”
He stares up at me and his lost look makes my heart skip several beats. I want to sweep him up into a bear hug but I’ll only get distracted and the playroom really isn’t an appropriate place.
I probably shouldn’t have brought up art school. It’s only going to add to his perplexity. He is still astonished that such places exist and that I think he should go. I’m not going to tell him about the fees or the strings I’m going to have to pull to get him in. He is worth all of that and more. But I know he would refuse if he knew.
One of the pups toddles up to Fitz, and it distracts me from my art school thoughts. Little Elsie grins at Fitz and hands him her toy telephone. He takes it and stares up at me in concern.
I grin at him. “You pretend to talk into it.”
He swallows and turns his attention to Elsie. He squats down to her level and puts the plastic phone to his ear.
“Hi. No, I haven’t seen Elsie anywhere? Where could she be?” he says.
The pup giggles in delight. And I want to do the same. I didn’t know he knew the pups names. For some reason it’s the most endearing thing I’ve ever witnessed. I think my heart might be melting into a puddle of goo.
Other pups see there is a new person to play with, and they swarm over. Apprehension itches along my skin. A whole hoard of pups might be a bit much for Fitz to deal with. It’s only his first time with them. Or any kids, if my assumption is correct.
Fitz looks up at me with a huge beaming smile, his eyes sparkling with glee. Then he turns his attention back to the pups and starts playing with them.
There is something in my eye. I need to get it out. As I wipe it away, I’m struck by a feeling. A warm glowing feeling. The knowledge that everything is going to work out perfectly.
Chapter thirty
Dinnerlooksdelicious.Davehas really outdone himself for his turn at cooking. The pack is chatting away noisily and Fitz is sitting by my side. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.
Fitz has taken so well to looking after the pups. I’m so proud of him. The few times I’ve sneaked a peek at him, it has warmed my heart. Seeing him dress up, and run around playing tag with them. He is getting to experience a childhood he never had. It’s perfect.
I just need to ask him if he wants to be mine. I swallow uncomfortably. Maybe after dinner. And that’s not another excuse. I can’t exactly ask him in front of everyone. He is going to have questions. I’m going to have to explain things to him. I have no idea if he knows anything about mating and claiming at all. Just springing it on him would be thoughtless. There is nothing wrong with waiting for the perfect moment.
It’s not like I’ve even gotten him to stay the night in my bed yet. Thinking about it, perhaps I should focus on that step first? It wouldn’t be procrastination. It would be sensible.
Suddenly, a red sigil lights up on the wall at the same time as the alarm sounds. My magic screeches at me. Intruders. Crossing our boundary.
Callum looks at me. I know he can read the sigil but it’s fine if he wants confirmation.
“Driveway!” I answer.
