I’mstartledawakeinthe morning by Fitz in his human form, running out of the door wrapped in my sheet. The door slams behind him and I flinch.
What the hell? Well, at least he is not stuck in his wolf form. That’s a huge relief. But what is his problem? I rub my hands over my face and groan. My bed feels cold and empty without him in it. Before I can stop myself, I sniff in the rapidly fading traces of his scent and I catch notes of his arousal. That’s his problem? He is embarrassed by a bit of morning wood? The man has serious issues. I’m never going to be able to understand him.
After showering, dressing and changing the bedding, I go down to breakfast. I pour myself a coffee and take a seat whilst Sarah whips up some fresh eggs.
Suddenly, wolf Fitz appears in the doorway. He looks nervous and his green eyes are staring at me imploringly. Shit. I really doubt he shifted on purpose. Looks like his shifting has gone a bit haywire.
“Oh hi Fitz, look at you!” exclaims Sarah. “I should have guessed your wolf would be as gorgeous as your human.”
Shifters do sometimes just fancy wandering around in their animal form, so I can see why Sarah is unperturbed. Fitz gives me a mournful look.
“After breakfast,” I tell him.
Helping him shift back can wait that long. His head droops a little but he mostly looks resigned. That’s good. He is not freaking out at least.
“Here you are,” says Sarah cheerfully as she places a bowl of sausages and bacon on the floor in front of him.
Fitz stares at it, then Sarah and then me. His eyes are wide and his body language tense as if braced for a blow. He lets out a distressed whine and turns tail and flees.
Shit. I think I know why he is so upset. I jump up from the table and chase after him. I catch up with him outside. He is a good way across the yard, heading for the woods.
“Stop!” I order.
He stops in his tracks and trembles and whines. At least he is listening to me. His omega nature hasn’t forgotten to obey me. My alpha nature likes it far too much. Gritting my teeth, I lead Fitz to behind Callum’s workshop. The grass is soft here, and it’s a private spot. There is a young tree growing by the brook. I sit with my back to it and gesture to Fitz to come and join me. He all but climbs onto my lap.
I grunt, wolves aren’t light, even small omega ones. I stroke his soft fur and make soothing noises. He needs to calm down before we try anything else.
He responds to my alpha presence and is soon relaxed. Unhappy, but no longer distressed. I love the way he responds to me. Even though I doubt it is personal. It’s just alpha and omega dynamics, and he clearly would be happier in himself if he had his own alpha.Not me,I growl at my wolf before it gets any stupid ideas.
I need to focus on the task at hand, but now he is calm, there is something I want to ask him first.
“The hunters made you eat like a dog, didn’t they?” I say softly.
Fitz whines and presses himself even closer. I knew it. The way he had shoved his face into Sarah’s food the first day he was here. He hadn’t been being a brat at all. He thought that was what we expected of him. He believed we were going to treat him like the hunters had, because he had never been shown anything different.
I stroke the top of his head and sigh. I think I’m starting to understand him. The hunters treated him like shit. Made him sleep on the floor, beat him, taught him that he is a vile monster. But I’m pretty sure he believes them. Believes them with all his heart and soul. He would still kill us all if he could. He is both a victim and a threat. I have no fucking idea what to do about him.
I can’t treat him as a criminal, but I can’t trust him either. And I can’t see how any of that is ever going to change.
How do you undo a lifetime of indoctrination? He clearly hates being a wolf, so his feelings must run deep. It’s not going to be as simple as just showing him the error of his ways. And in the meantime I’ve got to make sure he doesn’t murder me or anyone else. It all sounds very exhausting.
Suddenly Fitz flows back into his human form. He fits much better in my lap as a man. He wriggles into a better position, rests his head against my chest and lets out a big sigh. Cautiously I run my hand over his arm. He has never been cuddly before. He sighs again, this time in deep contentment. It makes me grin.
It’s nice sitting outside in the morning sun with a cute omega curled up in my lap. Okay, I’m being an ass. I like it because it’s Fitz, not just any omega. I like snuggling with Fitz. He is the most confusing bastard I have ever met. I sigh. Maybe I’m the confusing one.
He goes as tense as a rod in my arms and looks up at me in horror. His eyes are so expressive, I can tell he has only just realized that he is outside with me in broad daylight, sitting on my lap, cuddling me whilst being stark naked. I understand him as perfectly as if he had spoken words.
I open my mouth to offer him my tee shirt but he bolts. Running back to the house at full speed and giving me a wonderful view of his lovely ass. It’s a nice sight, but I’m being a jerk. He doesn’t like being naked and as silly as I think that is, he is upset right now, and I’m just being a perv. I need to be a better person. I can be a better person. Something about Fitz seems to bring out the worst of me in all sorts of ways and I’m not proud of it.
With yet another sigh, I get to my feet. I can be careful around Fitz and not trust him, without being a complete asshole. It seems like the only reasonable course of action to take.
It’s just a shame that I’ve never been very good at being reasonable.
Chapter eighteen
AsIstepoutof Callum’s workshop I see Fitz out of the corner of my eye. I turn towards him but he flees. Just like he has been doing for days. I sigh heavily and head for my room. It’s late and I’m tired and I can’t be dealing with my stalker right now.
He has been driving me nuts. Always there. Lurking around corners wherever I go. His delicious omega scent a taunt and a tease to my wolf. Every time I try to approach him, he runs away. Even though I just want to talk to the little shit and find out why he is following me around. Wolf-me doesn’t know if I am being hunted or courted. It’s infuriating, and it is making my wolf frantic.
