I feel a grin stretch across my face. I haven’t smiled so broadly in years. Fitz flushes and drops his gaze. He likes my smile? Okay, I can’t pretend that it’s just my wolf side that is thrilled at that. As much as I want to. My wolf being infatuated is one thing, me actually liking him like that… I can’t even go there.
I distract myself by showing him the easiest shuffle I know. After a couple of demonstrations with a talk through, I hand him the pack. Our fingers brush and it sends a jolt throughout my whole body. I’m just going to ignore that. It’s far too much to process.
He takes the cards, and then suddenly they are flying everywhere. Scattered up into the air like deranged confetti. He laughs at his disastrous attempt. A high-pitched snort of a sound. It’s the most absurd and outrageous laugh I have ever heard. It’s also utterly endearing and enticing.
I want to hear it again. I need to hear it again. It’s imperative that I hear it every day. Nothing has ever been more important.
He deftly begins to pick up all the scattered cards. I should help but I’m just sitting here staring at him helplessly. It doesn’t take him long, and he doesn’t seem to have noticed how weird I am being. He tries the shuffle again. Undeterred by his failure.
It goes slightly better this time, but some cards rain down on my head. He gives me a worried look, but as soon as I smile, he lets out his delightful laugh again.
Fuck.
I can’t come down here again. I’m going to have to leave that to Sarah and whoever else is willing. Apparently I’m an old horny alpha with a one track mind. He just has to flutter his eyelashes and I’m putty in his hands, or give his ridiculous laugh and I turn into a helpless puddle of goo before him.
And that is dangerous. Whatever he has been through, however the hunters treated him, he is still a dangerous threat to the pack. I can’t be the one to deal with him if I can’t keep a clear head. I’ll do something stupid like decide to release him from the basement because he has acted all cute and I want him. My libido will outweigh my caution and my ability to discern the facts. I can’t be trusted.
My wolf whines at the thought of not coming down here again, and that’s all the verification that I need. I can’t do it. The pack needs to be kept safe. I can’t make any more stupid decisions.
Fitz picks up all the cards and tries again, doing much better this time. I’m almost disappointed. But I give him an encouraging smile, and he beams at me in return.
I don’t have to leave right now. I’m already here. The damage is done. I might as well enjoy it while I can. Make the most of the time I have left to spend with him. And he is clearly enjoying himself so it would be cruel to abruptly leave. Especially as from his point of view, there would be no discernible reason.
Fantastic, I feel guilty when I leave, I feel guilty when I stay. When it comes to Fitz, I just can’t win.
Chapter ten
Thefullmooniscalling me, calling my wolf. I’m craving the feel of the earth beneath my paws and the sensation of a breeze in my fur. I need to shift. To run. To be a wolf.
It’s been one month since my life collided with Fitz. And pretty much one month that Fitz has been locked in the pack house basement. One month of feeling guilty when I can’t resist checking in on him, and then feeling awful when I do manage to resist.
He has made no escape attempts or attacked anyone else, so Alpha has agreed he can join us for our pack run. It’s very generous of Callum, considering Fitz still refuses to submit to him. Not that the little shit is going to appreciate the gesture.
As I walk down the stairs into the basement, Fitz puts down the graphic novel he was reading. His green eyes look like they light up.
“Jake!” he says.
My stomach does strange things. I’m being stupid. He has no reason to be happy to see me. I’ve kept him locked up for a month. As second-in-command, as well as the one who brought Fitz home, Callum has left all the decision making regarding the omega to me. And Fitz knows this, he knows I’m the one holding the keys to his prison.
My gaze sweeps the basement. I don’t think the conditions are too horrendous. The mattress was a good addition. Memory foam, because I wouldn’t put it past him to dig a spring out and use it as a weapon.
He has a pile of magazines and comics. No books, because I suspect he can’t read very well. But he seems to enjoy looking at the pictures of the material I have provided.
The wind-up radio I brought down a few weeks ago is playing softly in the background. I’m glad I decided to give it to him. There is no cord to throttle anyone with, but there was still a risk he would bash someone on the head with it. Or throw it at them. So far he has done neither. He has been a model prisoner. He seems relaxed, at ease almost, and I hate to think it’s because confinement is what he is used to. It’s either that or he is merely luring us all into a false sense of security. But that’s all a problem for another day. Tonight the moon is full.
“Alpha is letting you come out for the night,” I say.
Fitz tilts his head to the side. “For the full moon?”
I nod. “You might as well leave your clothes here.”
He flushes and drops his gaze.
“Just a suggestion, you don’t have to.”
That perks him right up again. He really has strange ideas about being naked. Though thinking about it, I’m not keen on the others seeing his scars. They feel like a secret he should be allowed to keep. Which is a shame because I would quite like another chance to admire his beautiful body.
He flows to his feet eagerly and I feel guilty for my dirty thoughts. The man has been confined in a basement for a month and I’m perving over him while he is just happy to be getting some fresh air.
