I reach the relative safety of my room and try to remember how to breathe. It’s all good. Harry hasn’t been cruel to me so far, so he can’t believe that. Or he is at least giving me the benefit of doubt. I just need to give him no reason to suspect anything. Except now, I’m just going to look as guilty as hell whenever I’m with him.
Oh well, he doesn’t seem to want my company. As he made perfectly clear at breakfast. So it’s all worked out for the best.
Deep breath. Calm down. It’s all going to be fine. Just no more exploring! Mind my own business. Stay out of trouble. Don’t be a nuisance. I can do that. I will do that. I’m still determined to be a fabulous consort. I’m going to be so amazing, that one day Harry won’t regret that he had to marry me.
And then, everything will be wonderful.
Chapter nine
Thisspreadsheetisstartingto not make any sense. Maybe I should take a break, but I am so very nearly done. Just a little longer. If I leave it now, I’ll be in a right muddle when I try to pick it up again.
“Colby,” says someone from the doorway of the library.
“Hmm?” I answer.
Looking up, I am startled to see night has fallen. The only light in here is from the computer screen. I’m also surprised to see that it is Harry striding towards me. I haven’t seen him for three days. Since breakfast on the morning after our wedding. Not that I have been counting or anything.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Oh, Just going over the accounts!” I explain. “Did you realize that the head gardener is willing to take a cut in his salary in exchange for accommodation? And the gatehouse is empty, which is costing a small fortune in maintenance. So two birds, one stone!” I beam at him happily.
He just stares at me. An unfathomable expression on his face. He doesn’t look impressed at all. I try to hide my disappointment and start shutting down all my tabs so I can be an attentive husband.
“You are ripe.”
“Oh!” I glance back up at him in surprise.
Am I? A quick assessment confirms that I am indeed brimming with magic. And I’m feeling very light-headed and a little sweaty. My jaw drops open in surprise. How could I have not noticed? And now Harry has had to come and find me. Probably after sensing me hours ago and wondering why I wasn’t coming to him. This is so embarrassing.
“You didn’t know?” asks Harry and the suspicious gleam in his eyes makes my stomach churn uncomfortably.
I can only shake my head and hope that he believes me.
He frowns a little and my heart sinks.
“Come on then,” he says, tilting his head towards the door.
My body starts to shake. I can feel my heartbeat in my throat. Why am I so nervous? Sex is fun. There is nothing to worry about. I give Harry a big smile as I walk around the desk and up to him. A strange look flashes across his face. He grabs my elbow and I realize that I have stumbled. He must think I’m so clumsy. I’m always stumbling in his presence.
He doesn’t let go of me as he takes me back to my bedchamber. He sits me on the bed and kneels before me to untie my laces and take my shoes off. He is undressing me but this doesn’t feel the least bit sexy. It’s like he is helping an invalid.
He pushes me back until I am lying on the bed, so he can work my trousers and underwear off. I wonder if he will leave my shirt on, as he only needs access to my lower half. I’m about to giggle, when he starts unbuttoning my shirt and something about his deft fingers moving so close to my skin, grabs my full attention.
I’m half naked but I don’t feel shy. Can’t blame anything on tea this time, but I suppose I can blame being ripe. It is supposed to make vessels feel out of sorts.
“Oh no!” I exclaim.
Harry pauses and gives me a quizzical look.
“I haven’t prepared… down there!” I whisper while pointing at my nether regions, as if Harry needs help in understanding what I’m on about.
His bright eyes flash and he shakes his head as if he can’t quite believe how daft I am. But there is also a faint smile on his lips.
“It’s fine,” he says, and I love the deep rumble of his voice.
He finishes undoing my shirt, then he walks over to the bedside cabinet and retrieves a bottle of lube. And my brace. He hands it to me without meeting my gaze. I take it with numb fingers. I didn’t use it on our wedding night. Does this mean he wants to do this formally? Because our first time wasn’t formal at all. Anxiety claws at me. I don’t really know how to have sex ritually. Like a vessel and mage should. I only know that I’m supposed to be quiet and submissive. If he wants anything more, he is going to have to teach me.
The slurp of the lube bottle makes me cringe. Not the most romantic of sounds. He kneels on the bed next to me, still fully clothed. It’s kind of hot.
