Chapter twenty-six
Mackenzie
Kit’shomegymislovely. I’m sweating away on his exercise bike, watching some online instructor on the tablet attached between the handlebars. It’s a neat set up. I far prefer it to having an actual personal trainer in the room with me.
Of course, I’d rather be sightseeing with Kit and his mom. I almost regret my lie about having a meeting with my new lawyer. But that’s selfish of me. Kit is rapidly turning into a star but he is still at the phase where he can go out and be mostly left alone. He might get a few requests for selfies but nothing like the pack of paparazzi and chaos that would soon follow if I attempted to go with them. Kit, in his blessed innocence, hasn’t quite realized this yet and his naïve invitation to join them was the sweetest thing ever. I was right not to ruin it for them.
Besides, his mom flew all the way out here to spend time with him. They don’t need me tagging along.
I pick up the pace of my cycling and distract myself with happy memories of last night. My plan of seducing Kit worked wonderfully well. A pleased grin spreads across my face. Last night was incredible. It feels inevitable that we are going to end up more than just lovers. Kit is going to be my boyfriend, my partner, my everything. I can feel it in my bones.
The door dings, and it takes a moment to register in my consciousness. Kit doesn’t have any staff. He also likes to buy things online a lot. It’s an annoying combination. Sighing, I make my way to the door. He also has a very basic home security system where the video feed plays to an app on his phone. I need to get the login set up so I can check it too. For now, the best I can do is pop the chain on the door before I open it.
I pull open the door and freeze in place. Mother glares back at me. A hundred thoughts tumble through my mind and none of them are good. My guts squeeze and my chest tightens.
“You are coming home,” she says coldly.
It’s all I can do to shake my head in horror. The thin chain that is protecting me from her doesn’t feel like anywhere near enough. I’m too frozen to slam the door in her face. She is the dancing snake and I’m the helpless mouse. It has always been this way between us. It will never change. I will never be strong enough to be anything other than prey.
She frowns at my silence. “You really don’t think I plan and make contingencies? Unluckily for you, a certain A-list actor has crossed the line with me, so now I’m happy to bring you both down.”
She holds up her phone.
“You are clearly of legal age in this one, so no victim card for you. He is beloved to his fans. Married with children. Everyone will hate you for a disgusting little home wrecker. Perverting him with your filthy ways.”
A video plays on her phone and I wince. It’s clearly me. A sex tape. I’m not surprised she has taped me, just disappointed in myself for not realizing she had.
“You have twenty-four hours to come home or this goes everywhere.”
She turns and walks calmly away. Down the driveway and into her car. As if we have just been having a pleasant chat. I watch her go, to make certain she has gone. Then I close the door and fall apart.
I want Kit. I long to call him. My trembling fingers fish my phone out of my pocket but I can’t do it. I can’t ruin his day with his mom. So I pace frantically and wait.
Mother will do it, I know she will. She doesn’t threaten idly and she is utterly ruthless. My career will be over. I’ll never work again, but that’s not what I care about. It’s not what’s making my stomach heave. I don’t want people to see me like that. I don’t want anyone to see that intimate, vulnerable moment. Panic claws at my guts and threatens to steal my breath. Millions of people will see me having sex. The whole world will know what I am. A cock slut. A whore. Just like Mother always calls me.
Part of me knows her homophobia is irrational. But over the years, her shame has seeped into every pore of my being. I’m ashamed of taking it and liking it. I wish with all my heart that I was a top, it seems far less humiliating. I think I could live with myself if I was wired that way. But I’m not. The thought of everyone on the planet knowing that about me is beyond horrifying.
But going back to her feels like a nightmare. I don’t think I can cope with being her puppet anymore. The thought of giving my body to whoever she tells me to, makes me retch in disgust. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t. And I can’t never see Kit again. I know that will be one of the conditions.
I place my hand over my heart. I really hope I’m not having a heart attack. The thought of giving up Kit hurts. I can’t bear it. I don’t want a life if he is not in it.
I pace and pace. Around and around. A rat trapped in a maze. After an eternity the key turns in the lock. I run to the door and hover at the end of the hallway. He steps in with his mom, bags of souvenirs and an easy, happy grin. It’s so good to see him.
He takes one look at me and drops his bags. Three long strides and he is wrapping his arms around me. I cling onto him like I think he can save me.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he says.
“Mother came over,” I sniff as tears begin to well.
I feel his entire body go rigid but he lets me finish.
“She has a sex tape of me with a married A-lister and she is going to leak it to the press tomorrow if I don’t go home.”
“I’ll pop the kettle on,” says his mom softly, and she moves over to the kitchen.
I don’t mind that she heard or even that she is seeing me like this. Deborah is a lovely woman. I can see where Kit gets his kindness from.
Kit pulls me even closer and then runs a soothing hand down my back. His touch, his mere presence is so damn comforting. He is everything I need.
