It’s a plan at least. And something to look forward to.
Chapter twenty-four
Kit
Thesecondmeetingwiththe underwear company and their advertisers is going well. I’m smiling and nodding, but I keep zoning out and thinking about how close I came to kissing Mackenzie last night.
Under the table, my agent pokes my leg with her pen. I guess I’m not hiding my absent-mindedness as well as I thought I was. I’m not sure what I can do about it though. She is just going to have to keep on poking me to get my attention.
These days it’s impossible for me to not be thinking about Mackenzie. He is the only thing on my mind. I want him, I’m worried about him, I’m in awe with how well he is coping with all the changes to his life I thrust upon him.
I used to think he was rude and stand-offish. Now that I have a vague idea about his childhood, I’m astonished he is not a monster. To go through all that, while all alone in the world, and come out with rudeness as your only vice was incredible. He has the soul of a saint.
Sally pokes me again, and I try my best to concentrate. I do really need this job and not for the money. If people see a big company hiring me, it makes Miranda’s reach look weaker and if they start to think she is not all-powerful, they might hire me too. Hollywood is all a game.
I’m starting to learn the rules. They are far darker than I first realized. So it’s a good thing I am a fast learner. Mackenzie can help me, he has certainly seen the dark underbelly of all the glitz and glamor.
And now I’m back to thinking about our almost-kiss. I’m pretty sure he had wanted it too. I just don’t know if that was because he was horny, or lonely, or because he still thought he had to. Daring to hope that it was purely because he likes me, is a sure route to a world of pain, but that doesn’t stop me taking a quick trip down that daydream. It is a very nice fantasy. I’m living in hope that it will become true one day. But for now, I’m fairly certain Mackenzie needs time. I can’t pluck him from his evil mother, install him in my life, and expect more. That’s all kinds of wrong.
I sigh. Why is trying to do the right thing so hard? Why am I bothering? Perhaps I should just abandon my morals like everyone else in Hollywood and just take whatever Mackenzie is offering. No need to overcomplicate things. To overthink them. Surely having Mackenzie in any way I can would be wonderful? It’s a very alluring thought, but I dismiss it. A choice between having Mackenzie now, in a shallow way, for a short time, or having a deeper, proper connection for a lifetime, is no choice at all. I can wait. I will wait. It will be worth it.
“We’ll send the contract over tomorrow,” someone says and it snaps my attention straight back into the room.
“Pleasure doing business with you,” I drawl in my best seductive voice. I am supposed to be the sexy Hollywood star modeling their underwear after all.
The ad executive blushes and looks flustered for a moment. Before he rouses himself and shakes my hand. Have men always found me attractive or is it a new superpower that I have recently unlocked? Whichever it is, it’s very flattering. My ego laps it up. I love the attention.
Sally gives me a disapproving look as we leave. I know it’s about my inattentiveness not my flirting, but hey, we got the deal. No harm done. Luckily she is busy and needs to hurry off. It means I don’t need to talk to her and I can go home to Mackenzie. I grin. Go home to Mackenzie. The best sentence in the entire English language.
For the first time since moving here, the traffic frustrates me. Usually I don’t mind it, it’s not a patch on London congestion, and sitting in my red convertible in frigging LA feels like a different universe from that dreary drudgery. But now I just want to get back to Mackenzie. I miss his company, of course I do. But there is also a pressing urge to protect him and the primal part of my brain is convinced I can only do that by being close to him. Rationally, I’m well aware that whatever move Miranda plays next, it’s not going to be physical. Her threats are far more insidious and dangerous. But that knowledge doesn’t stop my instincts from screaming at me.
Eventually, I make it home. As I quietly step through the door, I’m momentarily frozen in place by the sound of Mackenzie’s laugh. It’s heartfelt and musical and does strange things to my insides. It’s lovely to hear it and depressing to realize that I’ve hardly heard it at all. I need to make him laugh more.
Who has coaxed that sound out of him? I want to hug them in gratitude and stab them with jealousy. And demand to know what the hell they are doing in my house.
I creep up to the kitchen, like I’m stalking my prey. Even though I’m pretty certain if it was an intruder Mackenzie wouldn’t be laughing with them. That sensible thought doesn’t stop me from peeking around the corner carefully.
As my mind registers the sight before me, sheer joy blossoms. Mackenzie is perched on one of the breakfast bar stools, with his elbows on the counter. He looks more relaxed than I have ever seen him. My mom is bustling around the kitchen. As far as I can tell, she’s making bubble and squeak. There is a plate of British biscuits in front of Mackenzie and he and my mom are chatting away amicably.
My heart completely melts. My two most favorite people in the world. Here, together and getting on. It makes me want to cry.
“Mum!” I exclaim as I step forward in glee, nearly tripping over her suitcase.
She whirls around with a huge grin on her face and runs up to throw her arms around me. She barely comes up to my shoulder as I squeeze her tightly.
“Surprise!” she says.
It’s so wonderful to hold her. I don’t want to ever let go. Suddenly I’m a little boy again and everything is going to be alright because she is here.
“Come on, I brought tea bags, I’ll make you a cuppa!”
She tows me over to the kitchen and parks me next to Mackenzie. He gives me a warm smile as I take my seat next to him. I smile and lean over to snatch a biscuit.
“Mum, you must be exhausted!”
“Nah! I’m flying on caffeine and excitement.”
I chuckle and then moan in delight at the taste of the Custard Cream in my mouth. Mackenzie stares at me, but my attention is snatched away by Mum sliding a cup of tea in front of me.
