Theo wasn’t supposed to leave for another day, but everything about last night was a goodbye. So, of course, next to me is an empty spot… with a note. I laugh.
“Oh… Karma.” I hug the folded note to my chest and continue to laugh through my tears.
Three Nevers
1.I’ve never been so fucking scared in my life as I was the day I laid eyes on you.
2.I never imagined loving the feel of something more than the wood and strings of my guitar, until I touched you.
3.I’ve written fifteen songs, but NEVER has any one person inspired my words.
Truth: You are my greatest song.
Theo
“Fuck!” I leap from the most pathetic excuse for a mattress and rip the tangled ugly sheet from my body.
No to space.
No to freewill.
No to respecting his need to leave.
And I’mnoteven sorry.
I thought I wanted Daniel to let me go. But what if I wanted him to chase me to the airport in some grand gesture of hisundying love for me? What if I wanted to be his greatest song? Why wasn’t I his song?
Leggings never cooperate when you need them to. “Come… on!”
I define hideous, but there’s no time for glamour before I’m out the door.
“Sorry, sir,” I apologize to the poshly-dressed gentleman on the pavement when I bump into him, but I need his wallet. I’m going to Hell—probably on a Schwinn with a flat tire, but hell nonetheless. I’ll replace the money and post the wallet back to him when I can. That has to count for something. It takes me almost twenty minutes to find a taxi. Does everyone in this geometrically-obsessed city own a car? Where are all the bloody tourists?
I spit the address to the driver three times before he understands it. Apparently, he doesn’t think I’m speaking English. Knobhead has Theo’s honed people skills. Except, I am Theo’s song, so his complete lack of southern hospitality is forgiven. I bet Knobhead can’t hold a tune any more than he can hold in his beer belly.
“Can you hurry?”
He lifts his cap and scratches his head then repositions it as he gives me a confused look in the mirror. I roll my eyes. One of us speaks perfect English and the other is a knobhead.
I don’t have a speech, and begging may be involved, but Theo cannot leave me. It doesn’t matter what he’s facing. I will walk into the storm with him. There’s no way I can wait for another life that we’re not guaranteed, a Heaven that no one has seen, an eternity that I can’t see beyond the horizon in front of me.
Now.
We have now, and I want to share every breath of it with Theodore Reed.
“Just…” I slip a few notes from the stolen wallet. “I’m getting out here.”
“We’re almost there.” The cabbie points to the red light like it’s not his fault.
“Unlock the door!” I bang against it.
He shakes his head but the lock clicks open, so I don’t care what he thinks of me as I jump out and run towardmy life.
“Theo!” The desperation in my voice earns me a few concerned looks from people on their porches and in their gardens. I’m a few streets away from the house; my call to him may be a little premature. “Theo!” Okay, I can’t stop.
His truck is gone, but he’s not. He can’t be. The door is locked. I pound my fists against it. “Theo!”
Where is he? Last night was goodbye to me, not Tybee. He’s not leaving until tomorrow. “Theo!”
