This man spent a decade in prison for me. He’s my family, my blood. My love for him is eternal. But Theo has become mylife.
“If I tell him, he could try and kill her. That’s worst case. Then there’s all of the other scenarios that feel nearly as devastating: I don’t tell him and my cancer gets worse, I tell him and he doesn’t kill her, but you and I can never see each other again because the people we’ve chosen to be with can’t ever be together.”
I shake my head. “There’s no good answer. So tell me what to do.” This is not me. Why can’t I make this decision?
My name is Scarlet Stone, and I don’t like indecisiveness. I make a decision and stick with it. Consequences be damned.
He puts his cup down on the coffee table and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I can’t make this decision for you.”
“You make decisions for me all the time! I’m here because you decided I needed to be here. I stole a heart because you decided I needed to save Daniel. I’ve lived with the guilt over you going to prison for a crime that I committed because you decided my freedom was more important than yours. All thetime! You make decisions for me all the time! Now, when Ineedyou to make a decision, you don’t have a bloody opinion on the matter?!”
My heart pounds in my ankle as tears race down my face. Never in my life have I been such a clusterfuck of emotions, crying all the damn time. I’m lost and out of control, scared, and confused.
He stands and grabs a handkerchief from his coat pocket. “My love for you will not waiver one bit with your decision.” Bending down, he puts the handkerchief in my hand and whispers in my ear, “The only person I truly cannot live without in this world is you.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I hold my breath and all the sobs ready to explode as he kisses my cheek. A few seconds later, the door closes and I fall to pieces.
*
The door creaksopen. My puffy eyes feel like they could creak trying to open as well.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.” Theo closes the door behind him.
“Where did you go?” I rub my eyes and my throbbing sinuses.
“For a drive. Have you been crying?”
“Yes. I’m rather emotional right now. I hate being so incapacitated. It took me ten minutes to make it to the toilet and back for a wee that took less than ten seconds.”
“Sorry, I wasn’t here.” He kneels down next to my chair and rests his head on my good leg. His desire to feel close to me, always touching me like he needs the reminder that I’m still here—it tightens the noose around my heart.
“I can’t have children.”
He doesn’t move.
“I’m not implying anything. Just stating a fact.”
He nods slowly against my leg. “I’ve been told I snore.”
My finger traces the lines of his face. His eyes close.
“My first time having sex, I faked four orgasms. Apparently, faking one is believable, two is questionable, by four, the bloke loses his erection, runs out the door shoving his pork sword back in his trousers, and never calls again.”
Theo smiles, eyes still shut. “You know if a horse is cold by feeling behind its ears. Cold behind the ears. Cold horse.”
“I have no gag reflex, like… at all.”
I’m not sure which I love more: Theo singing or him laughing. Right now, his laughter feels like a fuzzy blanket on a rainy day, with a cup of tea, a handful of Jammie Dodgers, and a good book.
He sits up and interlaces his fingers behind his head. “I have some money.”
“Yeah? Did you steal it?”
“No.” He smirks. “I want to build a house.”
I shrug. “Well, you’ve got the skills.”
“I want to build it for you—for us. Maybe buy a plant or two and possibly a dog… a goat… a horse.”
