Just when it feels like my body is going to give way, the pain starts to lessen. I fall flat on the ground as my human form finally takes over.
As I lay there, trying my best to get my breath back, I feel warm hands swooping me up into the air. Grant holds me close to his body, filling and covering me with his scent.
I nestle into him as much as I can while he carries me back to the pack house. I don't see any cars around. All the visitors must have left already.
Grant carries me with ease, transporting me up the stairs until we reach my bedroom. He nudges open the door with his knee and gently laysme on the soft mattress, letting me sink into it. He pulls the covers over me.
“You can wash up when you get your strength back,” he says.
I give him a weary smile as a form of thanks. “How many days did I stay like that?”
“About three,” Grant says.
“That's a lot,” I mutter. “I've never felt so much pain before.”
“That's because it took you too long to turn back. How're you feeling now?”
“Like shit,” I answer honestly. “I hate my wolf side so much.”
He chuckles just a bit. “I wouldn't have guessed that, seeing as you almost didn't turn back.”
“That's why I hate it,” I groan, turning in the bed. I embrace the warmth of the covers on my skin, trying not to shiver too much. My strength comes back in bouts, filling me with energy by the minute. This energy is what begins to fuel my anger.
“Being a wolf is so enjoyable,” I continue, “but getting to that point is a problem, and shifting back is an even bigger problem. I can't imagine a future where there isn't pain with this transformation. The only reason I even believe it is because you guys are always so happy to turn. Then again, maybe you're all just masochists.”
Grant gives me a hearty laugh. “That's quite the theory. You might be right as well, you know. I guess you'll find out with time.”
I know he's just messing with me, but it doesn't stop the fact that I'm still a little scared. “I'm such a bad assistant.” The words come out of nowhere, but that doesn't mean it's not true.
“What?” Grant asks, just as surprised.
“I left you alone for three days. You even came to check on me multiple times, and I just abandoned where I'm needed.”
“I've been fine,” he assures me. “You don't have to worry, I've been keeping things running and getting stuff done.”
“I can see that,” I deadpan, watching how tired his eyes look. He tries his best to keep a straight face, but the lines show clearly that he's back to his days of not sleeping.
“I'm guessing there's been a lot of stuff to take care of, huh?”
“Yes,” he replies. “Nothing you have to worry yourself with. For now, it's alright for you to focus on transforming more often.”
My anger nearly blows a hole in the top of my head. “Are you kidding me? How can you talk about that after what I just went through?”
“What you just went through is even more reason to talk about it. It hurt seeing you in so much pain.”
“Believe me, it hurt me a whole lot worse,” I retort.
Grant frowns. “That's not what I'm trying to say.”
“It doesn't matter,” I reply, turning away from him and facing the wall. My eyes remain there even though I can tell Grant is still looking at me. “If you don't mind, I'd like some spaceso I can clean up.”
The alpha sighs before standing up and walking out of the room. He closes the door with less force than I expect, considering the fact that he's definitely upset too.
I push off the blanket and head right into the shower to wash off the grime and dirt that I've built up. I just stand there under the running water, making sure it touches every part of my body.
My arms, legs, and especially my back still feel sore, but it's the memory of the pain that really gets to me. The thought of how much suffering I just went through is almost too much to bear.
I can't believe he's bringing that up. So I don't get a break?
