"We can look for orange ones on the way back," I say, trying to keep my voice light and casual even though my heart is starting to pick up speed. "Come on, this way."
I start walking in what I think is the direction we came from, the kids following behind me still chattering about flowers. But after a minute of walking, the trail still hasn't appeared. The trees just keep going, endless and identical, and the panic that's been building in my chest starts spreading through my limbs.
We're lost.
The thought hits me like a physical blow, stealing my breath. We're lost in the woods and I don't know where we are and the kids are depending on me and I can't find the trail and what if we can't find our way back and what if—
A memory slams into me with the force of a truck.
Vincent's car door slamming. The sound echoes through the empty parking lot. Some rest stop off the highway, middle ofnowhere, two in the morning. I'm in the passenger seat, my hands trembling in my lap.
"Vincent, please—"
"You need to think about what you did," he says coldly, not looking at me. "Think about how you embarrassed me tonight. How you flirted with that waiter right in front of me."
"I didn't—I was just being polite—"
"Don't lie to me!" He slams his palm against the steering wheel and I flinch so hard I hit my head against the window. "You think I'm stupid? You think I don't see the way you look at other men?"
"Get out."
My heart stops. "What?"
"Get. Out. Of. My. Car."
I'm crying as I climb out of the car, my legs shaking so badly I can barely stand. It's cold, so cold, and I'm wearing a thin dress because Vincent liked this dress and wanted me to wear it to dinner. The parking lot is empty except for one semi-truck idling in the corner. There are no streetlights. No buildings except the darkened rest stop bathroom. Nothing but highway stretching in both directions, disappearing into darkness.
"Vincent, please don't leave me here—"
But he's already driving away, his taillights growing smaller and smaller until they disappear entirely.
My vision tunnels, black spots dancing at the edges. I can't breathe. My chest is too tight, my lungs refusing to expand, my heart hammering so hard against my ribs I think it might break through. The trees are closing in, the forest becoming a cage, and I'm alone and lost and abandoned and—
"Miss Amelia?"
Riley's voice cuts through the panic. I blink, forcing my eyes to focus, and find both kids staring up at me with wide, scared eyes.They can see it, I realize with horror. They can see me falling apart.
No. No, I can't do this. I can't panic in front of them. They're already scared and if I lose it completely they'll be terrified and it's my job to keep them safe and I can't fall apart I can't I can't I can't—
I force my face into a smile. It feels wrong, stretched too tight, but the kids relax slightly when they see it. "You know what?" I say, and my voice only shakes a little bit. "I think we're on an adventure. We're explorers! And explorers need to find their way back to base camp."
Isaac's eyes light up, the fear melting away almost instantly. "Like the people on TV who go to the jungle?"
"Exactly like that," I say, even though my hands are shaking so badly I have to clasp them behind my back so the kids won't see. "But first, we need to gather intel. That means finding clues. Can you each find me five different types of leaves? Different shapes, different sizes. Go!"
The kids scatter immediately, the game distracting them from their worry. Riley finds a maple leaf almost immediately, Isaac discovers one with serrated edges. They bring them to me one at a time, and I make a show of examining each one carefully, praising their excellent explorer skills, keeping my voice steady even though my vision is still spotted and my breathing is too fast and too shallow.
I'm trying to figure out which direction to go, scanning the trees for any kind of landmark or familiar feature, when I hear voices in the distance.
"Amelia! Riley! Isaac!"
Silas. That's Silas' voice, rough with worry.
"We're here!" I try to call back, but my voice comes out thin and breathless, barely audible over the sound of my own heartbeat thundering in my ears.
Riley, bless her, has louder lungs. "Dad! We're over here! We're finding leaves!"
The sound of running footsteps crashes through the underbrush, and then suddenly Silas and Wyatt are there, bursting through the trees with wild eyes and labored breathing. They must have been running, searching, and oh god they must have been so scared when they realized we were gone.
