“Until I get vengeance.”
“Even then, you’ll feel rotten, and the more effort you put into making him miserable, the more miserable you’ll be. It’s not an efficient use of emotional energy.”
I stood up, hands clenched in rage. “Forgive Clint? He betrayed me after I started to trust him!”
He stood up, but still seemed relaxed. “But he took you away from your grandfather’s house. He gave you what you said you wanted for two years. He let you keep the autonomy you said you wanted, never got any of the intimacy he craved, and onlybetrayed you because he wanted to break your ties with your family once and for all.” His smile was hard. “I ran into him in Pestilence, the most depressing bar in my hotel. He waxed eloquent. That means he talked for a long time, all about you, the first woman he loved who disappeared without a word the second he had an independent thought. He’s not a diamond by any means, but he’s practically a saint compared to your cousin. He’s also one of Pandora’s children, so your grandfather matched you to him intentionally.”
I stared at him, the anger and confusion making my legs weak. I sank into the chair and put my head in my hands while my heart pounded. “You’re my ex’s therapist now?”
“Absolutely not, but I needed to see what direction this would send him in. I still don’t know, because he doesn’t know.”
I looked up at him, my whole body stretched past the point of snapping. “You think that if I forgive him, he’ll forgive me, and not become the next supervillain threat?”
He pointed at me. “It had crossed my mind, but it might send him off in the opposite direction. No way of knowing until you try. No, it’s for you. You’re worth saving, Daniela, worth fixing, worth all the effort it will take to become whole. Self-worth. Even if you’re all you have, that’s enough if you’re who you want to be.”
My heart pounded too quickly as I slowly stood up, not sure where I should look. “And I should forgive my family as well?”
“Of course, and then never see them again. Forgiveness isn’t permission to continue their abuse.”
“How can I forgive them after what they did to Dirk’s sister?” I shook my head, brushed the tears off my cheeks I hadn’t realized had fallen. “I don’t know if I can do anything so hard.”
“This from the woman who survived living in Haversham’s house? I have complete confidence in you to do anything, no matter how difficult.”
“Because I’m Pandora’s child?”
“Because you’re a Delavigne. I listened to some of your father’s music and read some of his history. Nobility of soul is hard to define, but you certainly have that potential if you choose to pursue it. Dirk’s in the lobby waiting for you.”
I licked my lips. “I should forgive him too?”
“You already have, but instead of releasing it, you took the guilt that your cousin should feel and doesn’t. Forgive yourself, forgive your family, and maybe you can have a real relationship with Dagger.”
I left in a haze of conflicting emotions, the strongest one of wanting Dirk to be able to forgive me, to love me in spite of everything.
There he was, looking like a secret agent with his own personal stylist. He looked so good in the sculpted tuxedo near the edge of the immense foyer, apparently studying the sculptures of fruits and leaves. I walked towards Dirk Dagger, my heart pounding and my head spinning. I had to leave tonight. After the business was over, he’d have no reason to stay with me and every reason to leave. Could he forgive me?
He turned as if he heard my heart beating rapidly at the hope, the thought, the desperation. The relaxed smile had me tipping my chin up, like he was going to kiss me as he caught my hand and drew me close, studying my arm with a slight frown.
“Perhaps we should stop at the hospital and get you a cast.”
“You didn’t put on a tuxedo to take me to a hospital. Where did you make reservations?” I raised a brow and tried not to look desperate or desperately in love.
He raised my hand to his lips, warm breath brushing over my knuckles that sent a shiver through me. “I’m here to take you to dinner, but first we’ll enjoy some entertainment, if you don’t mind. I have a dress in the limo if you’d like to change.”
“You bought me a dress? I’m not going to tell you how terrifying that is. You have horrible taste.”
He raised a brow while his lips quirked. “And you taste exquisite. You could trade me, wear my tuxedo while I put on the gauzy contraption that Jordan assured me was everything you’d adore.”
“Oh, well if you got Jordan to do it, I guess that’s okay, although trading clothing has some appeal.”
“Does it?”
The thought of him getting out of his clothes with me in the back of a limo made my heart race and my skin prickle. I wanted to see him, every perfect piece of my delicious downfall. “You would look splendid in gauze.”
His eyes twinkled. “You have so much confidence in my potential.”
I changed in the back of the limo, which was actually a stretch SUV, so plenty of room to put on the layers of sinfully silky pink. Dirk stayed outside the tinted windows while I changed, back to me like he wasn’t interested in my body, or like he respected my modesty. Or like he didn’t want me because I was responsible for his sister’s death.
Once I was dressed in the gown, a woman slid in and started working on my hair and makeup. When I’d told Dirk that we were going to cause a scene, he’d taken me at my word. The private jet to Chicago, the drive to the symphony hall, all of it was with Dirk while I tried not to think that this was the last time we’d be together. I had so many words crowding in my throat, but none of them were the ones he wanted to hear. I’d already told him that I loved him. An apology wouldn’t mean anything until I’d done what I could to make up for what Philippe had done. He didn’t want a ‘sorry’ like his sister’s last note. I was, though. So sorry. Maybe he’d believe me if it was written in blood. Philippe’s blood.
