Breakfast was delicious, even if it was beans and biscuits, and the prep for the day was peaceful and lovely, the perfect soundtrack, even if Jezebel was yelling at someone for getting too close to Jack.
I couldn’t stop smiling, and every time I saw Dirk, my heart flipped, and the world became even brighter. I shouldn’t feel like this, because it couldn’t possibly last, but then again, why wouldn’t you feel things as much as possible when they wouldn’t last forever?
When I was triple-strapped in with Trixie, driving across the desert with plumes of dust following in our wake, I still felthappy, comfortable, safe, and if I closed my eyes, I could still feel his strong arms around me.
An hour into the drive, Trixie said, “You’re not much of a talker. I like that.”
How could I possibly respond to that? “Thank you. You as well.”
She snorted. “I like to talk about engines. This off-road truck is my baby.”
“Have you ever woken up in the morning happy?” I asked because that’s what I wanted to talk about.
She reached over and covered my hand with hers. “Sure. Not all the time, but usually. It’s as normal to wake up happy as it is for the sun to shine. If you don’t as a rule, you might want to change things.” She released me, returning her two hands to the steering wheel. “Would you grab the snack bag from the back? It’s the little purple one with the white zipper.”
I got it for her while I thought about what she’d said. Normal. I liked normal. I liked working eight hours and then going home. Normal people slept in beds with other normal people. Dirk wasn’t normal, but maybe he’d liked waking up with me as much as I did.
“How well do you know Dirk?” I asked once she was chewing on her beef jerky.
She swallowed and shrugged. “He ran a team; now he mostly does video. He’s quiet these days, but when he was Dirk Dagger, leader of the Blades, he was flashy, loud, egotistical enough to give Horse a run for his money. He was a daredevil with a death wish. Nix used to complain about it all the time.”
“Because he showed him up?”
“Because he was putting the whole league in danger of being shut down. It’s all experimental and almost impossible to get insured, but Nix keeps the risk lower than it looks, and spends a lot of time dealing with authorities who worry about that kind ofthing. Dirk was always a good reason to shut down the off-road racing. He had no fear.”
“And now he has fear?”
She shrugged. “Not exactly; he’s just focused on other things. He’s content to be cutting edge on the tech side and leaving the actual cutting edge to Jezebel. Have you seen her with knives? Now that’s scary.” She flashed me a grin like it wasn’t scary at all.
I smiled back at her, but then my smile faded. “After Nitro died, and his sister, his focus changed?”
“Seemed like it.”
“Do you think that Nitro’s car was sabotaged?”
She knocked on her dashboard. “Don’t talk about that while we’re racing across the desert in Velvet. She spooks easily.”
My stomach twisted. That wasn’t a ‘no.’ “How did his sister die?”
“Suicide. He has her last note taped to the sun shield in his car.”
I straightened up. “You’ve read it?”
She gave me a look before refocusing on the road. “Maybe you should have done more digging on him before you got married. Yes. There’s a big ‘sorry,’ and then something about this was the only possible escape. He used to go all icy-shard furious when anyone apologized to him after that, but he mellowed out. Not that any of us on Nix’s team are big on apologies, but some of the support are. Not for long. Nix doesn’t care about anything other than results, and he can use your weaknesses as well as your strengths.”
“Have you ever dated him?”
She laughed, loud and long, making me feel like an idiot, but I couldn’t help smile because her laugh was so infectious. “That’s funny. Usually, Jezebel gets asked that question, since they sweet-talk each other in public, but their sweet talk isn’t actually sweet. Even I can see that, and I miss a lot of nuances.No, I didn’t date Nix. I don’t date anyone, and neither does he. He doesn’t date even more emphatically than I don’t. Do? Whatever. Horse dates enough for the rest of us combined.”
“You’ve mentioned him twice. Have you seen him during this race?”
She pursed her lips. “He came over to talk to Nix last night about security. It was so shocking to see him without an entourage of women.”
“Did he talk to you?”
She made a face aimed out the windshield. “He offered me a candy bar while he was asking me if I noticed anything out of place. Who does that?”
I fought my smile. “Did you take it?”
