Suddenly I understood the reason for her rare phone call.
“Boyfriend?” I asked, as she clearly wanted me to.
“He’s amazing, Zoe. Smart and funny and strong. He’s an engineering student, and guess where he goes to school?”
Oh no. Peyton had a habit of jumping into things headfirst without thinking them through. Last year it had been joining a band that broke up after two weeks. Before that, she’d impulsively gotten a tattoo she now regretted. A boyfriend at Langley could mean anything from a casual fling to her planning their wedding after one date.
“Langley!” she said excitedly, apparently tired of waiting for me to answer.
“How did you meet him?” I said carefully.
“It was a while back. He’s so funny and tall. And my god, his abs. I bet you’ve never seen abs that perfect.”
I closed my eyes briefly, because I was pretty sure I had. I’d seen both of the twins’ taut stomachs when they showed me their piercings, and of course, Asher’s in the sauna. The memory sent an unwelcome flush of heat through me.
“What’s his name?”
“Michael. He treats me so well. I just wanted to share that with you since you never date anyone.”
“Um, thanks? Anyway, I’ve got to get back to work, but I’ll call on Christmas Day, okay?”
“Sure. Have fun up there. Where’d you say you were? The mountains? I thought only old people went there. Next winter you have to go someplace with hot guys.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said faintly, and then hung up.
A small, petty part of me would’ve loved to send her a picture of Kai, Landon, and Asher, just to blow her mind.
After that, I couldn’t get the conversation out of my head. As I took a shift at the front desk, it struck me how both Mia and Peyton had a man in their life now. Sometimes it felt like everybody did except me. I’d beentelling myself for four years that was fine—once I graduated and got the job of my dreams, then I could think about dating. But maybe… maybe my views on that were starting to change. And though that scared me, part of me thought that that might be a horrible thing.
I was hanging out with several handsome single men every day and entertaining the kind of thoughts I didn’t usually have. I’d seen Asher practically naked, and that had had an alarming effect on me. My nipples had hardened. My thighs had clenched. I was fairly certain that had I been wearing panties, they would have been wet.
And then last night, sitting between the twins, their warm, firm bodies on either side of me, calling Landon my hubby and listening to Kai’s wild sex stories—it almost made me wonder what would happen if I didn’t wait until after graduation to date.
It was so frustrating, I thought as I picked my way through the plants to the window of the solarium after my shift. I’d been doing everything right. I’d spent the last four years learning skills I’d need for my career. But graduating from college wasn’t just about starting a career—it marked the real start of adulthood. And adults needed to know how to do more things than just run a hotel.
I’d reacted badly when Kai kissed me and called me baby girl—not just badly, but like a scared virgin, which technically I was. Was I really considering entering theadult world without knowing what it was like to be with a man? I’d perfected my business skills but never thought about bedroom skills. Kai’s stories last night had been eye-opening. And a turn-on.
I stared out the window, not really seeing the gorgeous scenery. The more I thought about it, the more this seemed like a unique opportunity. I was here for a few more weeks, spending my nights in front of a warm fire with hot men. Maybe I should just get it over with, find out what all the fuss was about, and build up a few skills in that area too. This was knowledge I didn’t yet possess, and they sure as hell did.
Kai would probably laugh if I asked him, though I doubted he’d turn me down. Hadn’t he already invited me back to his room the other day? Asher would probably use it as another reason to act aloof and superior. But Landon—him, I could trust. He wouldn’t laugh at me. And if he touched me, it wouldn’t be fast and frantic like his brother. He’d let me go at my pace. He’d be sweet and gentle.
“Zoe.”
I almost jumped out of my skin as Landon’s voice said my name, as if I’d conjured him up with my thoughts.
My heart banged painfully inside my chest as he came to stand next to me. Should I share what I’d been thinking? Or just tell him that I’d never been with aman? Or maybe I could just ask him out on a date—though where would we even go?
I was prepared to throw caution to the wind and tell him what was on my mind, but when I looked up at him, his blue eyes were on the horizon. He looked serious. Somber. And so damn sad.
All at once, I remembered that this was a man who was grieving for his friend, his partner. And if Asher was to be believed, Landon felt guilty about it. Probably sex was the last thing on his mind.
When the back of his hand brushed against mine, I impulsively took it, squeezing gently. He didn’t look at me, but he moved a half step closer, and I leaned against him as we looked at the view. His closeness was about comfort, not attraction.
And I hadn’t had a lot of that either. So I’d be content with what I did have with him, with them, and not risk messing that up by pushing for something more.
At least that’s what I told myself.
But the disappointment that settled in my chest felt heavier than I wanted to admit.
