"I guess it's the guy."
"Did he hurt you?" she said protectively.
"No."
"What did he do?" she asked impatiently.
"Nothing. That's the point. I want to like him, and nothing's going to come of it."
"Why not? If you like him, pursue him. You can make something come of it. He seemed to like you back, Jo. He took you in his trailer. He gave you gas money. He didn't do that with the other extras. I certainly didn't get called into his trailer."
"I've never liked a guy like that."
"Oh, my gosh, Josie, then what's the problem? What are you doing in here crying?"
"Because I'm not going to do anything about it." I took a deep breath and gave her a smile. "I've talked to him and everything. I don't even live here. It makes no sense. I had a good cry, and now I'm good. You just caught me before my face cleared up."
I was being a really good actress, if I did say so myself. I sounded casual and convincing, and I started eating the food my sister brought to show how fine I was.
"It's because of me," she said.
The truth of those words felt like a shot to the gut.
"No."
"Yes, it is. You're scared of being happy in front of me."
"No, I just don't live here," I said. "And he lives in California. It's just one of those hopeless relationships in life. It's not you at all."
"Because I can see that you think I'm jealous."
"I never thought you were jealous," I said. "You can get any guy you want."
"That's not true," she said in a sincere tone. "And maybe you're too nice to break it to me. Maybe that's what this is all about."
"It's not about me being nice," I said. "I'm not nice. At this point, I feel mean. I feel horrible. I told Alex that I was going there this morning, and then I called and canceled. I also called Marcus from the church and told him we can't date. He basically said 'don't come back'."
"Don’t come back where?" She made a face. "To Colorado?"
"To church."
"Oh, so what? I didn't even know you were dating someone from there."
"We were only kind of dating. I'm just saying, I don't feel nice at this point."
"How long is Alex going to be here doing that movie?"
"Five or six more weeks," I said.
"Just stay with us a little longer," she said. "You're obviously not settled about it. Just stay. You live cheaper than anyone I've ever met, and we can use you at the restaurant, anyway. You don't need to turn around and go home. Especially if you got kicked out of church. It seems like the best medicine for that is to start a fling with a hotshot director. You go back to Colorado… he goes back to California… Luna and me get more time with JoJo. Everyone wins."
I might have been nudged out of the church, but I still wasn't in the mindset to have what anyone would call a fling. I did, however, feel excited at the thought of staying, and I felt happy that my sister could get behind a plan for me to see Alex again. I was relieved to have her blessing.
"I will think about that," I said. "It's not a terrible idea."
Chapter 16
I ate breakfast with my sister, and we sat there and talked for over an hour—longer than we had talked in years. It wasn't that it was a deep, meaningful conversation, but it was easy and pleasant, and I felt like I was on better terms with her afterward. We didn't talk about parenting, but based on things she said during that conversation, I felt like she was working on being a good mom.
