Friends. The word should have been comforting, but it sent a strange pang through her chest. She wanted to be his friend, truly she did.
But standing there, feeling so vulnerable, Angela felt something deeper stirring—something that made her pulse quicken and her chest tighten with longing.
She nodded, forcing a smile. "Right. Friends."
The word felt hollow on her tongue, but she couldn't take it back now. She'd already made things awkward between them once before. She wouldn't do it again.
“I was there because it was my job,” he said. “But I would have wanted to be there for you, regardless.”
Angela hated the reminder that any time Jude was with her, it was because of his job. Because Duncan had instructed him to stay close to her. He might say they were friends, but it was hard to dismiss the fact that, first and foremost, he was her dad’s trusted employee.
"Get some rest," Jude said, his voice gentler than usual. "Today was a lot."
It had been a lot, and more than anything, right then, she wanted to lean against Jude. She wanted him to wrap his arms around her and just hold her.
She’d never had that before. Never had someone stronger than her standing at her side. And now that she’d had a taste of it, she didn’t want to lose it. She also didn’t want the person at her side offering her strength and support to be anyone but Jude.
“I guess I’ll see you later,” Angela said. “Or if not, I’ll see you tomorrow for training.”
Jude regarded her for a long moment, as if trying to see into her very soul. Finally, he said, “Yep. I’ll see you then.”
With a final goodbye, Angela climbed the stairs slowly, her legs feeling heavier with each step. The adrenaline from the confrontation with Jill was finally wearing off, leaving her drained and emotionally raw. By the time she reached her room, her hands were trembling slightly as she turned the doorknob.
The familiar sanctuary of her bedroom welcomed her with its soft blue walls and comfortable furnishings. She kicked off her boots and sank onto the edge of the bed, finally allowing herself to truly process what had happened.
She'd stood up to her biological mother. The woman who had given birth to her, who should have loved her unconditionally, and Angela had called her out on abandoning Annie. The memory of Jill's shocked expression when Angela had challenged her still sent a flutter of anxiety through her stomach.
But Duncan had been proud of her. Jude had called her remarkable.
It hurt, though. She had wanted to be able to forge a relationship with her birth mom. The Bible talked about honoring parents, and she didn’t know how to reconcile that with a mother who didn’t seem very honorable.
She’d spent her life trying to keep the peace. To not upset Jim, Sandra, or Craig. Kiara had been more likely to push back against them, but not Angela.
She’d lived her life in fear of reprisal, and even though people said she’d done well that day, the fear was still there. It seemed very likely that there would be backlash. Whether it was from Julian or Jill, Angela didn’t know, but she was convinced she’d be made to pay for the stand she’d taken that day.
Angela pulled her phone from her pocket and stared at the blank screen for a moment before setting it aside. She wasn't ready to talk to anyone yet.
The one person she might want to talk to had been requested by her father to report back to him. Angela wondered if it was a follow-up to the meeting with Jill, or if it was something else.
She flopped back on her bed, then maneuvered her way under the comforter. Lying on her side, she gazed out the window. Only the tops of the trees and the bright blue sky were visible from her vantage point.
When she allowed herself to think about everything that had transpired over the past few weeks, it was hard not to get overwhelmed. She still wasn’t sure how she fit into this new life.
She didn’t want to go back to Briar Hollow, but she missed parts of it. Her church. The ladies of the knitting circle. And having a purpose.
She needed to have a purpose in her life. There had never been a point in her past when she could live a life of leisure. If Jim had ever caught them sitting around with nothing to do, he’d been quick to find them work.
So, to wake up each day with no real plan beyond training was unsettling for her.
But what could she do about it?
Well, what she could do was make sure she didn’t sink into a depression over it. There were so many positives in her life. She needed to focus on those.
Not on the fractured relationship with her birth mother. Not on the fact that she had no job or way to fill her days. Nor on the fact that she loved someone who only wanted to be friends.
Feeling tears sting her eyes, Angela flung the comforter off and sat up. She couldn’t wallow.
She wouldn’t wallow. She was sure that wouldn’t be how God would want her to deal with her situation.
