It wasn't a question, and Jude didn't bother denying it. "Doesn't matter what I want."
Cooper was quiet for a moment, studying his friend. "How serious is this? Is it just attraction, or…?"
"I don't know." Jude braced his hands against the counter, staring down at the granite surface. "I've never felt this way before. It's like…" He struggled to find the words. "It's like I can't stop thinking about her. About making her smile. About keeping her safe."
"That last part is literally your job description," Cooper pointed out.
"It's different." Jude shook his head. "With Annie or Benji, I'd take a bullet for them because it's my duty and I care about them. With Angela…" He paused, then shook his head. "She's my responsibility. My job. That's all she can ever be."
Cooper studied him for a long moment. "Is that the only reason? Her being Duncan's daughter?"
Jude wiped his hands on a dishtowel, buying time. "She's also almost twelve years younger than me."
"That's not unheard of."
"She's been through trauma. She's vulnerable."
"All valid concerns," Cooper acknowledged. "But none of that explains why you look like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders."
Jude sighed, leaning back against the counter. "You know what my life is. The estate. The security protocols. And sometimes I still have to guard Duncan when he travels to high-risk areas. What kind of life is that to offer someone? Especially someone who's just getting a taste of freedom for the first time?"
"So this is about protecting her from you?"
"From the life I lead," Jude corrected. “From the risks I still have to take at times.”
Cooper was quiet for a moment, then shook his head. "You know what I think? I think you're making excuses."
"Excuses?" Jude's voice sharpened. "Cooper, I could lose my job. Duncan trusts me to protect his daughter, not to—"
"Not to what? Fall in love with her? Care about her as more than just an assignment?" Cooper's voice was gentle but direct. "Jude, you're not some predator taking advantage of avulnerable woman. You're a good man who's developed feelings for someone. That's not a crime."
"It is when that someone is—"
"Duncan's daughter. Yeah, you mentioned that." Cooper crossed his arms. "But you know what? Duncan's also the man who stepped in when your dad passed away. Who trusts you more than anyone else in his life. Don't you think he'd want his daughter to be with someone he knows will protect her? Someone with integrity?"
Jude felt his chest tighten. "You don't understand. The Burke family means everything to me. They're the only family I’ve really had since Dad died. If I cross this line and Duncan feels I've betrayed his trust…"
"Then you'd talk to him about it. Man to man. Like an adult."
"I can't." The words came out more forcefully than Jude intended. "I can’t risk it."
Cooper studied him with those perceptive cop eyes. "So you'd rather be miserable? Live the rest of your life wondering what might have been?”
"This is my reality. My mother left because she couldn't handle my father's job. She couldn't live with the uncertainty, the danger, the fact that his work always came first."
“Not every woman has that response. Melanie knew the risks when she married me, and she still took the chance.”
“Not everyone is as devoted as Melanie,” Jude said. “As my dad found out.”
"But you're not your father."
"I'm exactly like my father," Jude said firmly. "I've made the same choices he did. Put the job first. Kept people at arm'slength. The only difference is I learned from his mistake. Except for once, I have never let anyone get close enough that their leaving would hurt. So, my job is my life. It’s all that matters to me."
Cooper frowned. "But now there’s Angela."
"Yes. Now there’s Angela," Jude agreed quietly. "Which is why I need to put a stop to it before it goes any further."
"Does she feel the same way about you?"
