“So you’ve never wanted to have a wife and kids?”
“It’s not that simple. Sometimes you can want something that just isn’t meant for you.”
The finality in his words struck deep inside Angela. She turned to stare out the window, wishing now that she’d never asked him any of her questions.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Jude tightened his hands on the steering wheel, wishing he’d been able to send Dawn with Angela instead of taking her himself. But Duncan had assigned Jude as Angela’s bodyguard for the time being, so when she asked to leave the estate, he had no choice but to go with her.
He also knew that he was the best person to accompany her to Coeur d’Alene. He’d know how to handle the situation should they run into someone who knew Annie. Or if they ran into Jim.
What he hadn’t expected was for Angela to grill him about his personal life. Though he supposed it wasn’t a surprise. He’d sensed that Angela might be drawn to him.
He might not have a lot of dating experience, but he had learned over the years how to tell if a woman was interested in him. Some were blatant about it. Others were more subtle.
Angela was a curious mix of both. She wasn’t blatant in a flirting way. But when they were together, he could sense her attention on him, and she seemed to gravitate toward him.
“Why do you feel like it’s not meant for you?”
Another question that didn’t surprise Jude. However, he didn’t want to have this discussion with her. As long as he could ignore the little glances or how she moved closer to him when they were in the same room, he could pretend that Angela was just another responsibility.
"My job requires all of my focus," Jude said, keeping his eyes fixed on the road ahead. "A family would be a distraction."
But even as the words left his mouth, he knew they weren't entirely true. His father had managed both for years—until hismother couldn't take the riskiness of the job anymore. The memory of her leaving still stung, even after all these years. Especially since he suspected that his dad’s job had only been an excuse to cover up her real reason for leaving.
"My father was a cop before he worked for Duncan," Jude said finally, keeping his eyes on the road. "My mother left us because she couldn't handle the uncertainty of never knowing if he'd come home at the end of his shift."
He gripped the steering wheel tighter, remembering the night his father had sat him down and explained why his mother wasn't coming back. He'd been eight.
"I chose a similar path. The people I protect are high-value targets. There's always risk involved." He glanced at her briefly. "It's not fair to ask someone to live with that kind of worry."
Although if he was honest, his specific position held less risk than others on the team. As head of security, he didn’t do as much bodyguard work as he previously had. There were times Duncan required him to fill the position—like his current trip to Coeur d’Alene—but they weren’t that frequent.
Angela was quiet for a moment, and Jude could feel her studying his profile. "But don't you get lonely?"
The question hit closer to home than he wanted to admit. "I've made my peace with it."
"That's not really an answer," she pressed gently.
Jude sighed. "Everyone gets lonely sometimes. But I have the team. I have my church and a few friends there. And the Burke family has always treated me like one of their own."
"It's not the same though, is it?"
No, it wasn't. But he'd learned to live with the hollow spaces in his life.
"Look, Angela, my priority is keeping the Burke family safe. That's what I was trained to do. That's what I'm good at." He paused, choosing his next words carefully. "Relationships require attention and can be a distraction. And in my line of work, distractions can be deadly."
"But everyone needs someone, don't they? Even you."
The sincerity in Angela’s voice made something in Jude's chest constrict. He'd spent years building walls around himself, focusing solely on his duty to the Burkes. Telling himself that it was enough. That his purpose in life was to serve as protection for the Burkes.
His few friendships were enough to satisfy any need he had to socialize, and they’d accepted that he wasn’t a super sociable person.
Now here was this woman—this Burke—trying to peek over those walls with innocent questions that cut straight to his core.
"We're almost there," he said, deliberately changing the subject as they approached the outskirts of Coeur d'Alene. "Do you want to go to one of the big-box stores? Or do you have somewhere else in mind?"
Angela seemed to understand he wasn't going to keep pursuing her line of conversation. She turned her attention to her phone, scrolling through something.
