“Did you hear her conversation with Emilia Levine?”
“The tiny blonde?” Julian nodded. “I heard a bit of it.”
“Did Kiara seem upset by it?”
Lucy hesitated. “I’m not sure if she was upset, but she definitely didn’t seem happy to have made a new friend.”
Julian looked toward the closed door, wishing he had the right to go in and check on her. He wanted to speak with Kiara and make sure she was okay.
He felt like he’d failed her that evening by being so focused on his own struggles. Could he ever make it up to her?
“Can you let her know I’ll come by tomorrow morning?” Julian said.
Lucy nodded. “Will do.”
When he got back to his suite, Julian paused in the shared living space, staring across the room at the bar. He had no idea ifthere was alcohol in the cupboards or fridge. Something told him that Anthony had made sure there wasn’t.
Turning away, he headed toward the door to his room. In the bedroom, he took off his jacket, vest, and bowtie, and laid them on the bench at the foot of the bed, then sat down at the desk in the corner of the room.
He had to try to make things right with Kiara. Remembering how they’d communicated through letters when he was at the treatment center, Julian felt compelled to open the drawer and pull out the stationery provided by the hotel.
With pen in hand, he stared out the window at the twinkling New York skyline. Away from all the distractions of the evening, and with silence surrounding him, Julian realized just how much of a mess his emotions were.
Anger. Resentment. Concern. Self-recrimination. And more that he wasn’t really prepared to dwell too much on just yet.
Dear Kiara ~ I want to apologize for how this evening turned out. I hadn’t even considered how this event might unfold for me, given it was my first one since becoming sober. But the closer the gala got, the more anxious I felt about it. And today, the worry I had about it eventually overshadowed everything else. Even your experience attending something like this for the first time.
I am sorry for that. I should have been more aware of what you were facing tonight. I wouldn’t blame you if you were angry with me for what happened.
Emilia told me about her conversation with you. Just know that she is wrong for what she said to you, and no one in our family feels the way she does.
Julian stared at the words he’d scrawled on the parchment. They seemed so… simple when the situation was so complex.
He was tempted to crumple the paper up and start over, but he wasn’t sure a second attempt would be any better.
With an exasperated sigh, Julian pushed away from the desk and got to his feet. He removed his cufflinks and then took off his shirt.
He wanted to divest himself of the clothing he’d had to wear that night. Clothing that felt like a costume because he’d had to play the role of dutiful son and heir apparent to Burke Pharmaceuticals. It was a public role that had always been easier when alcohol was available.
After he’d changed into a pair of sweats and a T-shirt, he sat back down at the desk, determined to finish the letter. He wasn’t sure he’d actually give it to Kiara, but he needed to get it out.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Kiara was slow to get moving the next morning because that was just how it was most days anymore. Physically, she might have found starting the day challenging, but emotionally, she felt much more settled than she had the night before.
She’d ended up watching three of the pastor’s sermons. Two were ones she’d heard already, but in browsing through the available videos on the church’s website, she’d found another one that had a title that had piqued her interest.
That had been the one that had given her the clearest understanding of how to become a Christian and what it meant to become a child of God. At the end of that sermon, several people had walked to the front of the sanctuary to commit their lives to God.
While she watched the response to that sermon, Kiara had also prayed, confessing her sins, and asking God to take control of her life. She hadn’t suddenly felt less alone, but there was a part of her that now felt like she had somewhere to turn when those emotions got the best of her.
She’d called Angie to let her know what she’d done, and her sister had become super emotional. Though Kiara hadn’t called her with the plan of distracting her, Angie had been so happy with the news that she hadn’t asked detailed questions about how the evening had gone.
At some point, she figured that Angie would want more details about the gala, but hopefully by then, the sting of the evening’s events would have eased.
Hunger finally drove her from the bed, and she got up and changed out of her comfy pajamas into a pair of maternity jeansand a loose-fitting shirt. She pulled her curls up into a ponytail, then went through the steps of her morning skincare routine.
When she left her room, Kiara found Lucy was already up and dressed in her usual uniform of a black T-shirt and black cargo pants. She didn’t have her guns on, but Kiara had no doubt they were nearby.
