God had always been such a distant entity in Kiara’s mind. But in that moment, He felt real and present. These people believed He was there with them. That He was accepting of their praises. They weren’t just praying and asking Him for things. They were praising Him. Worshipping Him.
She’d never experienced anything like it before in her life. Even when she’d attended church with Angie in Briar Hollow, she hadn’t felt like this.
The music quieted as one of the musicians prayed, thanking God for His presence in their lives. For the work of His hands in the world. For the hope they had because of what He’d done.
As the prayer ended, another song began, its words filling the screens on either side of the stage. The song had an almost Celtic sound to it as a woman began to sing.In Christ Alone My Hope is Found.
Kiara was once again drawn in by the words. There was so much hope and promise in them. Glancing over at Angie, she saw that Jude had his arm around her as they both sang, their eyes lifted heavenward. Their worship seemed to not be constrained by those around them. In fact, it was a shared worship.
Since she didn’t know the songs, she felt like she was on the outside looking in. However, Kiara also knew that she didn’t have to stay on the outside. Angie had spoken about her faith enough that Kiara knew that, just like her sister had decided to become a Christian, Kiara could as well.
But was she ready to do that?
As she stood there, the music swelling around her, Kiara felt movement in her belly. She’d been feeling fluttering for a little while already, but this felt more substantial. As if her little boy wanted to remind her that she wasn’t alone.
Swaying in time with the music, Kiara pressed her hand against the spot where she’d felt the movement. As they continued to sing, she wondered if she could have hope in Christ for her future. For her little boy’s future.
When her marriage to Julian eventually ended, would God be there for her if she had faith like Angie did?
Though the thought was comforting, there was a kernel of fear inside her that she wouldn’t be worthy of God’s presence in her life. So many had deemed her unworthy… unwanted.
Even now, she was only where she was because of Angie. BecauseAngiewas wanted. Because Angie had wanted Kiara there.
If she lost everything, could she still have God? Would He still be there for her?
Kiara didn’t know the answer to that, and she was scared to get to the point where she might discover what that answer was.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Given that he’d never been in a regular church service before, Julian wasn’t as uncomfortable as he’d thought he might be. He knew that was due in large part to the many conversations he’d had with Elijah.
Because Elijah had been the worship leader for his dad’s services before he’d left the ministry, he’d talked at length about how he viewed worship through song.
“Our hope is in Christ alone,” the pastor declared as he took his place behind the pulpit and they all took their seats again. “Praise the Lord!”
People around them echoed the pastor’s words as he opened his Bible on the pulpit.
Julian shifted in his seat, trying to get comfortable for the duration of the sermon. He ended up putting his arm along the back of the pew behind Kiara. It allowed him to stretch out a bit, and Kiara didn’t seem to be bothered by it.
“What does it mean to have our hope in Christ?” the pastor asked. "It means that we don't put our trust in the things of this world. Not in money, not in relationships, not in our jobs or our health. All of those things can fail us. But Christ? He never fails."
Julian found himself leaning forward slightly, drawn in by the pastor's words despite himself. He'd spent his entire life trusting in things that had ultimately failed him—alcohol most prominently. He'd trusted it to numb his pain, to help him forget. But where had that gotten him?
The pastor moved from behind the pulpit, walking across the stage with a confidence that reminded Julian of his fatheraddressing a board meeting. "The world promises security but delivers chaos. It promises fulfillment but delivers emptiness. It promises freedom but delivers bondage."
Julian felt a strange tightening in his chest. Those words hit uncomfortably close to home. He glanced at Kiara, wondering if she felt the same strange resonance. Her face was tilted up toward the pastor, her expression thoughtful, one hand resting on her rounded belly.
"But in Christ," the pastor continued, his voice rising with conviction, "we find true security. A promise of everlasting life. True fulfillment. Not because our circumstances change, but because He changes us from within. And we are given true freedom since we are no longer bound by the shackles of our sin.”
Julian shifted in his seat again. He'd been to countless business presentations, motivational speeches, even a couple of political rallies. All of them had had captivating speakers, but this felt different… more personal somehow, as if the pastor were speaking directly to him rather than addressing a room full of people.
"When we place our hope in Christ alone," the pastor said, "we're no longer at the mercy of our circumstances. We're no longer defined by our mistakes, our sin, or our failures."
The word "failures" seemed to hang in the air. Julian's mind flashed back to his childhood—the secret he'd kept, his role in the twins' kidnapping. The treatment center had helped him begin to address that guilt, but it still lingered, a shadow over his heart.
"We all have a past," the pastor said, as if reading Julian's thoughts. "Every single one of us has things we're not proud of. Things we wish we could undo. But here's the good news—Christ already paid the price for those things on the cross. Your past doesn't have to define your future. In First John chapter one, verse nine, it saysIf we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Julian felt something catch in his throat. He hadn't expected to be so affected by a sermon. He'd come to church out of curiosity, maybe to understand Elijah better, but now he found himself genuinely moved.
