He took a few minutes to send a message back to Kiara, but he didn’t tell her everything that was on his mind. He needed the time to sort through his emotions, something he wasn’t used to doing.
In the past, he’d used alcohol to help him deal with any emotional upheaval. Although maybe “deal” was too strong of a word because what he did was more like ignore the emotions until he’d drunk enough to bury them deep in the recesses of his mind.
Since his sessions with the therapist, he was more aware of the right way to work through difficult emotions. However, his default was still to push them aside, and he was doing that again by not writing about them in his letter to Kiara.
He promised himself that hewouldtalk in depth to her about everything at some point. Just not yet. And not through an email.
The next two weeks were crazy busy, and when Julian climbed aboard the family jet to fly back to Idaho, he was desperate for a few days of downtime.
He followed Duncan and Elizabeth onto the jet, then waited for them to choose their seats before taking one himself. They had been with him for the past two weeks, first in New York City, and then they’d flown to Dubai to their office there for five days before coming back to New York. They were all ready for a chance to get over jetlag and unwind.
It wasn’t long before they were in the air, and Tracy, their flight attendant, brought them beverages and offered food. Julian just asked for a cup of coffee, though in the past, he’d usually have had a drink or two on the flight.
Not drinking was still a struggle, especially when he was in situations where he had previously had several drinks. But so far, he’d managed to resist the temptation.
After he finished his cup of coffee, he leaned his seat back, hoping he might be able to sleep. As he closed his eyes, though, his thoughts went to Kiara.
They’d kept in contact over the past two weeks. It hadn’t been quite daily since he’d been tied up a lot. First with the board meetings and then with the trip to Dubai. Her emails to him had been a welcome distraction in his busy days.
Her messages had made it sound like she was doing well, and her latest appointment had confirmed that the baby boy was growing like he should be.
Julian had been a bit surprised when she’d asked him if he wanted to be in the delivery room. It hadn’t even entered his mind that he could be there when the baby was born. It seemed like a very… personal thing.
Of course, he and Kiara had already had a moment that was extremely personal, but he had no memory of that time.
He didn’t feel strongly enough about being in the delivery room to press for something that might be uncomfortable for her. Plus, he was pretty sure that Angie would want to be there with her.
It was hard to believe that in less than a month and a half, he would be a father. He had no idea what that would look like. There probably wasn’t much he could do for the first several months.
The Burkes always had nannies, though Elizabeth had only had one part-time for Benji. She was definitely a more hands-on parent than he remembered his mom being. And maybe there was something to be said for that, since Benji had a better relationship with Elizabeth than Julian and the twins had with their mom.
Even though his mind was busy, he eventually drifted off. But it seemed like it was no time at all before Tracy was waking him with a gentle shake.
Blinking, he sat forward and straightened his seat. He ran a hand through his hair, then turned to look out the window. Now that it was well into October, the fall colors were abundant and beautiful.
Once they were on the ground, they transferred to the helicopter. Julian had brought more of his stuff from New York, so he had three large suitcases for them to switch from the jet to the helicopter.
“Ready to go home, Son?” Duncan asked, resting his hand on his shoulder.
Home…Was that what the estate had become? Or was it Kiara and the baby?
“Yep. It’ll be nice to have a break.”
Julian climbed onto the helicopter first, then turned to offer his hand to Elizabeth. Once Duncan and the security team were on board, the pilot started the engine.
The trip to the estate passed quickly, and soon the helicopter was descending toward the helipad. Once they had landed, it was a quick unloading of the helicopter onto the UTVs.
“Will you be at dinner tonight?” Duncan asked as they walked to the edge of the helipad.
“I’m not sure,” Julian said. “I’ll see what Kiara is doing.”
“If not tonight, maybe we can all have dinner together tomorrow.”
“Sounds good.”
Anthony was waiting with one of the UTVs and had his bags all loaded in the back. Julian swung himself into the front seat beside Anthony.
“To Kiara’s?” Anthony asked.
