Billie linked hands with Zoe and dragged her to their favourite ice cream stall inside the Goyder Pavilion. It was a warm spring day and the perfect weather for a treat to brighten the day.
Zoe ordered her favourite, butterscotch and coffee ice cream. She took the first lick enjoying the cool sweetness on her tongue. She turned around and came face to face with Max.
Fuck.
She froze.
Her voice evaporated, and a shiver slid over her body.
“Leave her alone, Max. She’s done with a fuckwit like you,” said Billie roughly.
“I just want to make sure Zoe is all right.”
“No thanks to you. You’re an idiot.”
“I know. I didn’t mean to do what I did. It’s just… it’s just…” His hands hung lost by his side and Zoe could feel empathy towards him. She guessed it was to do with his ex-wife.
“You’re a fucking prick,” Billie said.
He nodded his head. “I know what it’s like to love someone and then be betrayed by them. I just never thought I would behave like that myself.”
Zoe’s heart quickened.Did he just say the L word?
“Bit late, so piss off.”
Zoe put her hand on Billie’s arm. “It’s okay.” Her voice shook.
“It’s too soon to say I love you, but I want to, but I should never have treated you the way I did last night, or say what I did to Marshall. I… I… have no excuse really. I’ve been alone too much, keeping people, especially women at arm’s length, that I’d forgotten how to act properly and respectfully.” He took a deep breath.
Zoe felt her entire body shake with the words she was hearing. She didn’t know whether to forgive him, or to punch him, or to kick him in the groin. Or… kiss him. She wanted to do the latter, but wouldn’t let herself.
“I’m not asking for a second chance, I don’t deserve it.”
“Damn fucking right,” said Billie.
“Shh,” said Zoe. “Please.”
Billie shook her head but didn’t say anything else.
“I don’t know what it is about you, Zoe. You have broken down the walls around my heart that I’d put there, and I would do anything to have a chance to spend time with you so I can get to know you even more, and to make up for what I did.”
Zoe shook her head. Now real tears were filling her eyes. “I was falling for you, then you show me that you’re a real piece of work,” said Zoe, anger flooded her body and making it difficult for her to keep calm. Along with the attraction, the building love she had for him made it so hard for her to think straight. “How can I trust you again?”
“Because it won’t happen again. Because I don’t want to not see you or not be with you. But then there’s the details I get stuck on, which drive me mad. I want you to come to my farm, live there with me, but everything about you is so city that I’m scared you’ll say no, and I don’t want you to say that no me. Because I don’t want to be denied you. Because I know now what I have to lose if I do treat you like that, and I couldn’t live fully without you.”
Zoe could see he’d changed. Even within twenty-four hours, he wasn’t the same Max she’d walked away from in the carpark. But she wasn’t sure. Men like Max don’t change for love. Yet, that was exactly what she was seeing there. He didn’t try to touch her. He was letting the softer part of himself show, the part she always knew was there. And he all but said he loved her. It didn’t make it right. Only time would do that, and he would go back to his farm tomorrow, and there was no more time for them. She wasn’t about to risk going up to his farm. Not now. Even though it was clear his feelings matched her own. It just wasn’t going to happen. And seeing this now brought the tears to the surface she’d tried so hard to keep away.
“I’m glad that it won’t. But I think it’s all too late.” She turned and once more walked away from the man she really wished she could’ve had a future with.
