Who even am I? Who is that woman looking back? The one with no roots, no family,nothing,except now an alpha?—
I close my eyes, opening them once more to ground myself. I start speaking out loud, too, as low as possible. “The mirror is a little dirty, with a black frame. I am still Diana. I have been mated. I am okay. I amokay.”
It’s a technique taught to us nurses to assist anyone who is suffering from panic when brought to our wards. There’s no reason to fear what just happened because being mated is thetruepath to freedom. Iknowthis. Judge’s eyes already seemed less reserved, like he needed the bond to let loose.
And… it’s what I need. I haven’t felt this stabilized in a very, very long time. This was for the best, not worst.
Scuffling through some of my swans, I move back to the covers for a long time, not wanting to watch outside. The part of me that resented Dominion back in New Bunker will only become angry to see someone being murdered. What’s the pointin that? I bought into that thought, until slowly, the noises outside grew louder. It sounds like a crowd that’s getting rowdy, making it impossible to sleep.
My eyes close shut when I hear the worst screeches ripping from a man, like someone might be pulling his teeth out. His screams make me flinch, covering my ears. It’s when those cries are broken with cheers that I can’t stand to think I just listened to someone be tortuously murdered while people cheered for it, and I’m the bonded mate to their alpha, and I don’t even bother to at leastlook.
I finally wrap myself in a blanket to peer out the window. There’s a massive bonfire, and a man is tied up in front of it. He’s on his knees, arms pulled tight on either side. Are those… his lungs?
A blood eagle.
Jesusfuck,that’s violent.
I watch as Judge, in his bomber jacket and buzzed head, walks through the crowd that automatically parts to let him through. Everything inside of me swirls around in a maelstrom, aware that that man is mymate. I can even feel a small string of violence inside of me, aware my mate is in a precarious state.
He is the one to grab a torch and drop it on the man’s back. I gasp when the man’s head raises high in a shriek, still somehow alive, as flames climb all over him, his head limply dropping. I start to feel vulnerable. Like I’m alone and shouldn’t be, or that someone is going to come in here and hurt me for what Judge has done. Violence like this isneversafe.
Judge glances back up here as he steps away from the dying man. Oh—shit, he can feel me.
Taking a few steps back from the window, I don’t know what to do. I stand there, trying to scrape that image out of my mind. Why did I have to look?
When I hear footsteps, it’s clear they can’t be Judge. He might be an echo, but I doubt it lets him fucking teleport. I’msearching for a weapon, only for the door to open as Kitty smiles at me.
“Hey there, girlie. Judge sent a message to check on you—oh, you didn’t watch that, did you?”
My mind doesn’t have the capacity to speak about what I just witnessed. “You’re allowed in here?” I remark, pulling the blanket tighter as I remember I’m naked.
“The only one, right now. I’m his cousin,” she explains, looking the room over. “It’s why he trusts me.” She sniffs the air. “Oh, he really smeared you, didn’t he?”
“Why did that man have to die like that?” I finally manage out.
She sighs like she regrets coming here now. “He raped an omega.”
“What?”
“That’s strictly against Dominion’s codes. So, he paid the price.”
Well, now I feel like an ass for feeling sorry for him. Am I really wrong in all of my assumptions? I stand there, frozen, my fingers curling into the hem of the blanket that still smells of him. “I think I’d like to sleep, please,” I say, looking at the bed. Nest. Whatever it is.
Internally, I crawl to Judge’s image. His shadow consumes me in its vastness. How easy would it be to let him use this tether to soothe me? He killed a man for raping one of my own, apparently. Doesn’t that speak for something? Forsomereason to trust him?
I lie down once Kitty agrees to leave, curled under the blankets, only finding true calm when I can feel my alpha return. I’m somewhere in a deep sleep when I open my eyes as I feel Judge rearrange the blankets so he can join me, flesh against flesh, holding me against him. It should disturb me that those hands just dropped fire onto a man’s exposed spine, but in these wastelands, it makes me feelsafe.
Maybe there isn’t a solution, honestly.
Maybe this is all too big for one person to feel.
Maybe itiseasier to let his warmth consume me.
As I roll over to rest my face against his chest, I think it’s clear where my heart wants me to land. No matter where this goes, my story officially has Judge, the leader of Dominion, as my bonded mate.
DIANA
Judge left early that morning,and I did not bother to get up with him. Instead, I let my mind wander, wondering if there are books within these walls that can help me understand the bond. Or what if I ask him to let me interact with more omegas? I can cover up the bite with a turtleneck or a scarf, and suppressants would cover up his musk.
