Jack interrupts by clearing his throat. “Not to burst anyone’s bubble, but Cici needs to be on board.”
“I’m on a jet first thing tomorrow morning. Just needed your permission first, and yours.” I address both Jack and Jackson.
“Well, you’ve got it. Now it’s in your hands. Go get her,” Jack says, patting me on the back.
“Thank you, sir. Jackson.” I nod to both and make rounds to say goodbye.
As Hazel hugs me, she welcomes me to the family, which fills my heart with hope.
24
FREEING
Cici
Leaving the hospital two days ago after baring my soul has been added to my list of the top ten most difficult things I’ve done, and yesterday morning’s task was right up there with it. Jackson, Mia, and Mia’s mom joined me at our parents’ house for breakfast to surprise them with the news of a grandbaby before my flight out that afternoon. If you’d asked me how I felt about that, I’d have told you it was stressful enough to put me right into labor, which was why I decided to bring backup. Yeah, it may not have been the brightest idea to spring it on them with an audience, but the thought of doing it alone terrified the crap out of me.
Mia’s mom came because she’s become a permanent fixture in our family since (a) she lives in the same building as Jackson and Mia, (b) they’ve all been planning the wedding together for weeks, and (c) she’s the reason our parents forced Jackson to hire Mia in the first place. Mia’s mom was their housekeeper then and often talked abouther amazing daughter, who needed a job at the same time his assistant was taking maternity leave. It’s amazing how fate works sometimes.
Luckily, the additional guests worked out in my favor because although their initial hesitation was evident upon our arrival, they kept their shock to a minimum. By the end of breakfast, it was obvious what kind of grandparents they would be—the doting, loving, spoiling kind. In hindsight, I should have leaned on them from the beginning.
Of course, as any parent would, they worried about me being a single mother, but once we got that out of the way, they practically begged me to move back home so they could have me and their grandbaby close by. All that worry over their disappointment was for nothing.
Now here I am, back in Bozeman with an odd sense of contentment. Having everything out in the open is a relief—not only with my parents but Eli as well. And even though I left without any plan for the future, just having him know is enough for now. I’m sure we’ll eventually end up at the part where we talk about how to navigate dual parenting in the future, but we have time for that. Strangely, considering how things ended, it felt like there was closure this time. No hidden feelings, lies, or secrets, and nothing either of us can do but move forward. It’s freeing in a way. I’ve always craved control of my life, but in losing Eli, I’ve realized I’m not really in control of anything.
Our love for each other was beautiful, but unfortunately, it blossomed at the wrong time. But it was meant to be, because if it hadn’t happened, then I may never have sought help and been able to overcome this odd phobia of mine. I’ll be forever grateful that the experience pushed me to do that and also for the baby growing inside of me that I can’t imagine my life without. Loving Eli is now something I can live with, and although nothing would make me happier than to be with him, I’m finally ready to be happy without him.
Which is why, even though I’m exhausted as hell, I’m excited to meet Matt and Poppy for brunch this morning. Breakfast happens tobe my friend these days, since by the time dinner rolls around, I’m always too tired to function, let alone socialize. Entering the restaurant, I find them immediately with a pitcher of bottomless mimosas already on the table. I head in their direction, thinking they should really be warned about those.
Poppy spots me and jumps up from her chair to give me a squealing hug. “Aaaah, I’ve missed you! And you’re already so much bigger.”
“Thanks, that’s just what every woman wants to hear when she’s greeted.”
“You know what I mean. I feel like I missed so much in my baby’s life,” she coos as she rubs my belly, doing well to redeem herself.
Matt gets up to hug me. “Hey, Cici. Glad to have you back. How are you feeling?”
We take our seats, and the waitress rushes up to ask for my order before I can answer.
“I’m feeling great,” I say with a big smile that I truly feel. “In fact, I couldn’t be better. Everyone knows about the baby, and I don’t have to hide it anymore. My brother’s getting married in less than two months, and my parents are excited to be grandparents. Life couldn’t be better.”Okay, maybe a little.
Matt and Poppy look at each other skeptically before Poppy says, “Who are you, and what have you done with Cici? She’s about this tall.” Her hand lifts. “Blonde hair, blue eyes with a constant chip on her shoulder and enough stress to fill a football field.”
I laugh. “That Cici is not coming back.” At their hesitation, I add, “I’m serious. All is right with the world.”Or close enough.
The waitress arrives with my tea, and we give our orders before conversation continues.
Matt chimes in first. “I feel like something’s missing. Why don’t you tell us what happened in San Diego and how you left things.”
So I do. From when Eli woke up to walking out after admittingI’d be with him. The story of my parents will have to wait since Poppy takes over.
“That’s it? You said ‘yes’ and just walked out?” she asks incredulously.
“There was nothing left to say. We can’t be together.” My tone may suggest stupidity, but she skips over it and gives a dose right back.
“How about, ‘Oh hey, let’s talk about this baby we’re having together. What will your involvement in our child’s life look like? Such as visitation, child support—you know, general parenting concerns?’That may have been a good idea before you left.” She looks to Matt. “Or is that just me?” Poppy’s not one to mince words when she’s passionate about something.
Matt uses a little more tact. “Did you both agree you’d talk about that at a later time?”
