“What if I wasn’t? Tell me this: What would you do if you could go back in time? Would you have stayed? Pregnancy aside, do you regret leaving me?”
“We can’t go back, so it doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me. Please, Cici, just fucking be honest and tell me how you feel.” His frustration is evident, and mine is ratcheting up with it. Stress isn’t good for him, so we need to tone it down.
Taking a deep breath, I try to calm myself before answering. I get that he’s still in the mindset from when we were seeing each other, but I’m positive his brother told him about his relationship with Rebecca. In fact…. “You can’t just ignore your engagement. Just because you can’t remember it, doesn’t make it any less real.” I release a breath of frustration. “Listen, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have feelings for you, but to ask me to declare my love now, when we’re an impossibility at the moment, isn’t fair to either of us.”
“So you do love me.” It’s not a question but a statement of fact that I can’t dispute. And the smile on his face to go along with it about does me in. He’s right in front of me, yet I miss him so fricking much it hurts.
Ignoring his revelation, I continue from where we were earlier. “I’m not sure exactlywhatmy goal was when I came to tell you about the baby, but whatever it was… feels wrong given the circumstances. I’m sorry, Eli. This isn’t how I wanted things to end, but I think it’s time to cut our losses and figure out a way to move forward. We’ll obviously need to talk about the baby at some point, but for now I should go.”
“Will you give me an honest answer to one last question before you do?”
“I’ll try.”
“It’s a simple yes or no. If Rebecca weren’t in the picture and we were sitting here in this exact moment, would you be with me if you could?”
My eyes glisten and my heart constricts as I look into his eyes and finally give him the answer he’s been waiting for.
“Yes.”
23
LIFE’S TOO SHORT
Eli
If I weren’t sure of my path, I’d never have let Cici walk out the door moments ago, but knowing what I do now only solidifies my decision. According to Sebastian, the reason I wouldn’t tell Cici about the marriage condition is that I wanted her to choose me freely. It may be a bit late, but I finally got what I needed. Now it’s time to rectify the situation with my current engagement. That, and hope like hell my memories return so Cici will believe that I still love her, because even though I don’t remember, there’s no way a love this strong simply disappeared.
“From the look on Cici’s face, I’m gathering that didn’t go well,” Sebastian says, entering minutes later.
“It went great. Can you get the paperwork rolling to end my sham of an engagement?”
“Well, that certainly isn’t what I expected to hear walking in here. Holy shit, did your memory come back already?”
“No, but I don’t need it to know what I want, and she just walked out that door.”
Sebastian paces the room, his hand running through his hair. “Bro, I told you the basics of the trust condition, but you’re not understanding. If you fuck this up, you’ll lose everything. You don’t have time to start over if this thing with Cici goes south.”
“It’s not a thing—that’s my future wife. And it won’t, I’m sure of it. Did we put any cancellation clauses in the contract with Rebecca?” I’m not ignoring his concerns—I simply don’t have any, and the faster we make this happen, the faster I can move forward.
“Of course we did. This isn’t our first rodeo. But you can’t be sure Rebecca won’t talk to the press, NDA or not. And then you have the problem of a required six-month engagement period.”
“Didn’t you say I proposed to Cici on New Year’s? That means her ring was purchased then, and if push comes to shove, I’ll contest that requirement. When it’s obvious our marriage is real, there’ll be no need for that baseless condition.”
“And how about getting married before the end of the year?”
“I’ll handle it. I’ve already got a plan.”
Sebastian shakes his head in resignation. “Don’t you think you should wait for your memories to return before you start making rash decisions? You’ll probably have a completely different perspective then.”
“Exactly. I’m in the perfect frame of mind to make this happennow.In fact, send Rebecca in. There’s no better time than the present,” I say, more jovial than ever.
Sebastian huffs on his way out, “Except you’re not living in the present.”
“Don’t forget to start the paperwork!” I call out after him.
Instead of Rebecca, the nurse comes in to check my vitals, which look exceptional.
