Wait, is he saying what I think he is?
22
FALSE REALITY
Cici
Lily and I are in the waiting room, whispering in hushed tones. I called Jackson the minute we left the room, and he’s on his way. I told him only one person could be in the room at a time, but he wanted to be here for everyone. We’re all in shock that Eli is not only awake but has lost his memory. It’s wild that in his mind, we’re still dating, no one’s pregnant, and no one’s engaged. Hell, he doesn’t even know that Jackson is back and has Mia home with him.
We filled Rebecca in on Eli’s amnesia since she was still confused as hell by the time the nurse ushered us from the room. The craziest part is that she’s been completely wiped from his memory. What if he never remembers those last eight months? How could he ever move on, with no recollection of the woman he’s engaged to? It’s insane. She definitely has more at stake than the rest of us, but it’s hard to feel bad for her when her response to the news was “How convenient for you.”
Thankfully, Sebastian and the doctor came out then, while Eli was taken for testing. The doctor explained Eli’s condition and toldus how important it is to keep him as calm as possible. The memory loss associated with short-term coma patients is usually temporary, but there’s no time frame or guarantee that it will come back. Being upset and stressed hinders recovery, though—thus the limit for one visitor at a time in his room. I don’t blame him after seeing what happened when we were all in there at once.
Sebastian appears around the corner after spending the last half hour in with Eli, and we all stand in anticipation. He makes his way closer, looking pensive, and whatever he’s thinking about makes him uneasy, which isn’t something often seen in Sebastian. He reaches us and immediately brings Lily to his side, hugging her, and kisses the top of her head.
Rebecca joins us. “Can I go see him now?”
“Actually, he’s asking for Cici,” Sebastian says.
I might be imagining things, but I swear Rebecca rolled her eyes right before the irritation on her face became unmistakable. To say I’m shocked is an understatement. I expected him to ask for Rebecca, his fiancée, of course. I mean, he may not remember her, but isn’t he anxious to find out about their relationship?
Still, is it terrible that I’m gloating inside? Yes. Yes, it is.
Lily squeezes my arm in encouragement, and I walk toward his room. When I enter, I’m unsure whether to take the couch or sit in the chair beside his bed, so after shutting the door, I stand uneasily, staring at the orchid on the table by his bed, wondering if it looks a little droopier than usual.
“Come here, cutie.” He pats the bed next to him.
I’m surprised at the use of his nickname for me. He used it when he first woke as well, but I was too in the moment to consider it. But now, assuming Sebastian has filled him in on the past eight months, he must know we’re not together—that we haven’t been for seven of the months he lost.
My feet feel like they’re weighted with a hundred pounds each asI slowly make my way closer. On top of being relieved that he’s awake, I’m panicking inside. It was so much easier to tell him the truth when he was asleep and couldn’t respond, but now I’m afraid of what his response will be.
He scoots over and pats the bed again. And as much as I want to be near him, it feels wrong. He’s with Rebecca. It makes no sense why I’m here instead of her. And regardless of what he thinks he feels, there’s really no way of knowing unless he regains his memory. There’s no way forward until he’s able to go backward.
So I take the chair instead.
His eyebrows go up mockingly. “Scared of me, are you?”
“Shouldn’t Rebecca be in here?”
“Why don’t you let me worry about that?”
I shake my head, exasperated. “She wasn’t happy that you asked for me.”
His face goes stern. “I’m not worried about Rebecca right now. What does concern me is this puzzle I’m trying to work out in my head. From what I remember, it looks a little like this: I’m seeing someone who, I’ve been told, I said I loved and asked her to marry me but was rejected nonetheless. Now I find out she’s pregnant, and it appears as if, correct me if I’m wrong, her due date may correlate with the last days we were together. The missing pieces aren’t fitting, though, and I can’t figure out how we’re not together or why the hell I’d be marrying someone else when she’s the only woman I’ve ever loved, not to mention possibly having my baby. So are you ready to help me by filling in the last few pieces of the puzzle?”
The tears started falling seconds into his speech and wouldn’t stop. I nod but can’t seem to form any words.
“Talk to me, Cici. Tell me what’s going on. Are you carrying our child?”
I nod again, and despite the smile that lights up his face, I choke on a sob. “I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for? Did I know you were pregnant?”
I shake my head since I can’t speak because I’m crying so hard.
“Shit, baby, come here.” He holds his arm out.
No matter how wrong it is, I can’t hold back anymore and crawl beside him as he envelops me in his arms while I cry and confess my guilt over not telling him and how it’s my fault he’s in here, apologizing repeatedly.
