“We were in the heat of the moment, and it just happened.” She shrugs like it’s no big deal, adding fuel to the fire.
Unable to remain seated in such close proximity, I stand. My hand runs through my hair, pulling on it as I pace the living room. “That doesn’t just fucking happen. Did I reach for a condom or mention it first?”
“After sucking you off, one thing led to another, and I ended up riding you. We didn’t take a break in between. You weren’t the only one drinking. I may not have been as hammered asyouwere, but I wasn’t in my right mind either. That night was hard on both of us,” she rebukes.
“Right. So you basically took advantage of the fact that I was drunk off my ass and knocked yourself up. Wait a minute—” I stop in my tracks and face her. “—I thought you were on birth control.”
“I am…. Well, I was. I mean, I am. I’m just terrible at taking it, and I didn’t think about telling you before I got back on track because we always use condoms.”
“Except thatonetime, and you didn’t think to warn me. What makes you think you’re pregnant? It’s only been two weeks. Are you just assuming?” I’m completely perplexed.
“I took a home test—they can detect it within a few days.”
“You’re not supposed to drink when you’re pregnant, but you had mimosas today.” My skepticism is palpable, but why would she lie about it? Something isn’t adding up.
“I didn’t want to raise suspicion, and I figured a couple early on wouldn’t hurt.” She shrugs again, and I’m in no way convinced.
“There’s no way I’m taking the word of a drugstore test. I’ll schedule you with our family doctor tomorrow, and if you are pregnant, I’ll want a paternity test.”
“Seriously? You’re the only person I’ve been with.”
“Then it shouldn’t be a problem, right?” I ask matter-of-factly.
“It’s not. I just wasn’t expecting to be accused of lying.” Rebecca turns her head away, pouting.
“You could’ve been screwing ten other guys for all I know, and before two weeks ago, that was your prerogative. I’d like to believeyou, but even you can admit that we haven’t established any sort of trust between us yet, so I’ll be verifying if the child is mine or not.”
“Fine, but I have a doctor. I’ll make an appointment.”
“No, it’s not up for discussion. This is sensitive information I can’t afford to end up in the tabloids. You’ll go to my doctor.”
“I’m not comfortable seeing someone I’m not familiar with. I don’t want some random stranger in my space.” She waves her hand around her lower half. “And besides, all doctors are bound to privacy. It’ll be fine.”
“Did you miss the part where it wasn’t a request? I’ll drag you there myself if I have to.” My patience is waning.
“And if I am pregnant, what then?”
I’m not even sure what she means by that, but I’ve reached my limit for today.
“One thing at a time. We’ll have that discussion after it’s confirmed. I have somewhere to be, so I’ll walk you out.”
I wait one minute after the door shuts, when I know she’s cleared the elevator, until I lose it.
“FUUUUUCK! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” My hand slams down on the countertop before I lean over, resting my head in my hands and praying to God she’s not pregnant, that whatever test she took was wrong. And fuck if that makes me a terrible person for wishing a child who could be mine not to exist, but goddammit, I don’t want a child with Rebecca. I wouldn’t even marry the woman if I had another choice.
What the fuck am I doing? Is this even worth it anymore? My mind is reeling, going in circles with different possibilities. What if she’s not and I have to worry about this exact situation for the next two years? What if she sleeps around and ends up pregnant? There are provisions in the will that cover different scenarios, but fuck if I have to worry about this shit the whole time. I’ll certainly be getting her an implant for birth control starting tomorrow if it turns out thetest was false. Then I’ll be backing that up with a supply of condoms that I’ll keep behind lock and key.
Although I’m royally fucked if I’m too late for all of that. Could my life get any more out of control than it already has? What the hell am I being punished for?Goddammit.Slamming my fist on the counter again, I flee to the garage in a rage, knowing there’s no better way to work it out than by replacing it with the adrenaline of the race. Shooting a quick text to Sebastian to explain Rebecca’s scheme and that we’ll resolve it tomorrow, I power down my phone. This shit will be waiting for me in the morning, and I’ll handle it then.
20
CHANGE OF HEART
Cici
Crap. I didn’t think this through. The second I step outside the airport, it dawns on me that Jackson has no idea I’m pregnant, and there’s no hiding it at this point. In my defense, it was one of the longest nights of my life, wondering if I would be too late when I couldn’t get a flight to San Diego yesterday. I ended up booking the earliest one for this morning and was significantly sleep-deprived when texting my brother during the layover. Although under duress, I should’ve figured something else out, because I have enough to deal with as it is. Uber came to mind, but I didn’t want my bag at the hospital, and there’s no way I would’ve stopped to drop it off first. Lily is with Sebastian, watching over Eli and sending updates, so she wasn’t an option either.
Poor Sebastian. Eli isn’t only his twin brother but all the family he has left. Thank God he has Lily, but I imagine he’s going through hell. So far, Eli is still unconscious with no prognosis as to whenhe’ll wake. I’m sure I’ll find out more soon, but all I care about now is seeing for myself that he’s alive and breathing.
