Looking down and shaking my head, I mutter quietly, “I don’t understand how this happened.” Looking up in embarrassment, I smile. “I mean, obviously I do. It’s just that I’m still hung up on the fact that I was on the pill.”
“You mentioned that, and while there is a small percentage of failure with any form of birth control, I took the liberty of viewing your medical records, and they show you were prescribed an antibiotic in late December. Do you remember that?”
“Yes.”
“Did your doctor explain that those particular antibiotics can interfere with the effectiveness of birth control and tell you to use additional protection until a week after finishing the dose?”
“No.”
“If you engaged in unprotected intercourse during any of those three weeks, I would say that’s your answer.”
15
MOVING FORWARD
Eli
Sebastian is once again lecturing me on our way home from drinks with the guys. We’ve revived our weekly nights out now that Jackson is finally comfortable leaving Mia for a few hours. I’m sure the ring on her finger is a big part of it. It’s been three weeks since he proposed, and I still can’t get Cici out of my head. She barely looked at me that day and, other than a polite hello, wouldn’t talk to me at all. It makes sense now that Jackson confessed tonight to telling her about Rebecca and me. I suppose she would’ve found out eventually, but it pisses me off that I couldn’t explain. This whole charade is pissing me off.
Which is undoubtedly why I’m stalling from making my offer to Rebecca. I’m stuck in a holding pattern, but each evening that Jackson and Braden give me shit about the girlfriend they’ve never met, the severity of the situation increases.
“You either need to have the conversation with Rebecca or find someone else within a week, pretend to fall instantly in love, andannounce an engagement. You’re the one who inadvertently put yourself in this position when you ran your mouth to the guys. You’re only making it worse by stalling.” I may be eighteen minutes older, but Sebastian has always taken the big-brother role. The last round went for five minutes before allowing me a word in, so while I’m not happy with the statement he just made, at least he didn’t take forever to say it.
“Thanks for reminding me, and again, easy for you to say.” Sebastian lifts his hands in frustration as I shake my head, turning to stare out the window. The worst part is that he’s right, which aggravates me more. “I’ll admit having Cici here set me back, but yeah, it’s time to move forward. I’ll talk to Rebecca this week and get it done.”
He blows the air from his lungs. “Thank fuck. Now let’s discuss your death wish with this hobby of yours.”
Another thing he’s been on my ass about. I turn back pointedly. “How about we don’t, and you lay off, considering I’m dealing with shit and it’s the only thing keeping me sane.”
I went behind the wheel again the day after the proposal, when Cici left San Diego for the third and final time. It’s the only thing that completely takes my mind off this crap. At least temporarily. It was agonizing not to tell Cici how much I’ve missed her. I couldn’t tell her how often she’s on my mind or that my love hasn’t faded. With an engagement around the corner, my lips were sealed shut, and the guilt has wrecked me since.
Sebastian and Braden did their best to distract me that night, but the next day was hell. The only thing I could think of to ease my grief was to distract myself on the racetrack. With the time that had passed since the accident, getting in the driver’s seat had my adrenaline pumping the way it did when I’d first started. It was exhilarating and exactly what I needed. And with the shitstorm my life has become, I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.
“I’ll let you off the hook for now… if you follow through with Rebecca. You may think I’m being cold, but you can thank me later when you’re not sleeping on my couch because you can’t afford a place to stay.”
“That’s a bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think? I’d still have the penthouse along with the money I already have. We both know I wouldn’t be poor. The worst thing is that I’d have to leave the company.”
“I’d say the few zeros you’d be knocked down wouldn’t be conducive to the lifestyle you’re accustomed to. I guarantee you that racing would not be in your budget. And like I said, I want you by my side inourcompany.”
“Our company my ass. Sounds like it’s still Dad’s if you look at what’s happening. Do we have anything else to worry about? Provisions regarding children to be aware of? Wouldn’t that be the icing on the cake?”
“I’ve already checked, and we’re in the clear. I’ve made it crystal clear to our attorney that if there are any more surprises, we’ll replace him faster than he can finish the meeting. He’s assured me this is the final condition and that the trust will transfer completely upon satisfaction of our two-year probationary periods.”
“Thank God for that. I’ll have the paperwork finished and add her name to the contract first thing tomorrow. You realize she might not accept?”
“Which is why you need to approach it sooner rather than later, so you can go to plan B if she doesn’t. Do you think you’ll attempt an actual relationship with her at all?”
“No. Though two years is a long time, so who the fuck knows. But it’s not part of the deal, and I’ll be making that clear. She’s been driving me insane, hounding me for more, and I’d hate to give her false hope. If a ring on her finger isn’t enough for now, she’s shit out of luck.”
“Remember, you need her to say yes, so perhaps try to sugarcoat it a little. And look at the positive—you’re already fucking her.”
“Sebastian Dubree pointing out the positive. Never thought I’d see the day.”
Four days later, I texted Rebecca to meet me in the bar before heading to the room for our weekly fuck session. I’m already regretting this and haven’t even made the pitch yet. All day, the doubts kept swirling, threatening to cause me to bow out and find another solution. The problem is, there are none. Sebastian is right—Rebecca will be better than some stranger in my home for two years.
Tucked into the corner, I see her before she finds me. She’s dressed to impress and has an excitement about her. It’s not hard to speculate what she’s expecting, and I can only imagine what her reaction will be when she discovers it couldn’t be further from the truth. But that won’t stop me from making my intention clear from the beginning.
She lights up when she sees me, a smile overtaking her face. A shadow of guilt peeks out before scurrying behind the clouds where it belongs. There’s no room for it here.
