Easy for her to say. I’m an absolute fucking mess of emotions. But as of now, I have three hours to be ready, and it’ll take a miracle to hide these puffy eyes and red nose. Thankfully, there’s no more time to deliberate, so I crank my favorite hits station and jam out while I prepare for the most important night of my life.
“Wow, this is amazing,” I say while looking around the circus-like enclosed tent that’s set up on the lawn at the luxury resort’s New Year’s Eve celebration. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s almost enough to take my mind off the ring safely tucked inside my clutch. The lights hanging from the top are shaped like candles and flicker at different lengths across the canopy. There must be hundreds.
“It is. It’s so glamorous, I feel like a celebrity,” Lily says.
I huff. “You sort of are.”
She laughs. “Only in certain circles, thank God. Maybe Sebastian and I should have had our wedding here.” We both look around in awe. She may be somewhat of a celebrity since she’s been with Sebastian, but she’ll always be the same Lily. She doesn’t let their money go to her head, and I don’t think she ever will. She’s too down-to-earth for that, having come from nothing the way she did.
“What are you talking about? Your wedding was out of this world.”
“Speaking of weddings, are you ready for tonight?” she asks with concern. “Any change of heart?”
“The head and heart are two different things. Nothing has changed.”
“Well, I’m here if you have a freak-out moment before then.”
“Thanks.” I squeeze her in a one-arm hug. “Hopefully I can keep it together for a few hours. Let’s make it go fast by dancing the night away.”
“What are we waiting for?” Eli asks, walking up behind us and hearing the last bit. Sebastian is with him, and they hand each of us a glass of bubbly. “Cheers to the evening ahead.”
We all raise our glasses and take a sip. “Have you ladies found our table yet?” Sebastian asks.
“No, we didn’t make it very far. We were too distracted by the opulence. It’s beautiful, don’t you think?” I ask them while I stare at Eli. He looks so fricking handsome tonight. His tailor-made suit fits him exquisitely and makes him look like a million bucks—probably not far from the price. His usually floppy brown hair is styled more conservatively with gel, and his five-o’clock shadow is shaved to perfection, giving him the perfect amount of sex appeal. He’s utterly delicious.
“I think the most beautiful sight here is right next to me,” Eli whispers in my ear, making me shiver.Funny that we were thinking the same thing.
“Let’s go set our stuff down and mingle,” Lily suggests. “When are Jackson and Mia getting here? I’m excited to meet her,” she says, never having had the chance before Mia left.
“Any minute, I’m sure. They should have been here by now.” I shrug, unconcerned.
Jackson got a call on Christmas from Mia’s best friend, who told him it had been a misunderstanding and that Mia never moved on. She’s been a permanent fixture since she arrived the next day, and I’ve spent more time with her this week. She’s beautiful inside and out and so perfect for him. I couldn’t be happier for Jackson; seeing him back to his usual self is such a relief. If only everyone could have a happy ending like theirs.
After dancing the night away, the final countdown is seconds away, and there are fresh glasses of champagne being passed out. Thebutterflies in my stomach begin fluttering like crazy. The evening so far has gone perfectly. Between the dancing, great food, and conversation—mostly Mia filling everyone in on her story—I haven’t had a moment to worry about what comes next. But now that it’s approaching, my nerves are skyrocketing. Thankfully, I was too preoccupied all night to overindulge in alcohol and make it worse.
“Ten…nine…eight…seven…,” we all shout. There are smiles all around, and couples paired up and ready to kiss their loved ones.
“Six…five…four…three….” Eli and I turn to face each other for the last moments before new beginnings.
“Two…one… HAPPY NEW YEAR!” The room goes up in cheer while we continue to stare.
My eyes water as I slowly move my head from side to side and open my mouth to tell him, but he brings his pointer finger to my lips. He takes my glass, placing it on the table next to his, before grabbing my head and kissing me like it’s the last time he ever will. The room vanishes, the shouting around us goes silent, and all I’m aware of is the man showing me how deeply he loves me in a single kiss. With one final soft touch of his lips, he pulls back and brushes the tears from my eyes, mouthing the wordsI know, and my heart sinks.
“Happy New Year!” Lily grabs me and hugs me excitedly. I wish I could join in her enthusiasm, but I only manage to hug her back. “Everything will work out,” she whispers in my ear before I’m released and passed to the next person.
By the time I’m through with everyone, I’m too dazed to cry as I stoically reach for my champagne to numb the pain, but Eli has other ideas. “I have a room for the night. Come with me so we can talk.”
“Do I have to?” Talking about it won’t make it better.
“No. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. But I’m asking you to, for me,” he pleads. And I can’t say no. So I nod, seeing instant relief stretch across his features.
We say goodbye to everyone, ignoring Lily’s concern andJackson’s gaze that asks what the hell is going on without words. Sebastian squeezes Eli’s shoulder in encouragement, and it’s enough to make me want to run away and hide. But it’s too late.
Eli places his hand on my back, holding my clutch in the other. “This way,” he says, directing me from the room.
The silence that follows as we walk the grounds is agonizing. His hand remains the entire time, rubbing my back soothingly. When we reach the door to a villa, my legs are ready to give out. After twisting the lock behind us, he takes my hand and leads me to the couch, where we sit facing each other. I open my purse and remove the ring, dreading this moment but knowing my answer needs to be said out loud.
Taking a deep breath, I begin, “Eli, I’m sorry for the way I am. It’s irrational and makes no sense, but something’s holding me back. It’ll probably turn out to be the biggest regret of my life, but I can’t marry you.” I hold the ring out, and he takes it with a resounding sigh.
