“See you then. Shut the door on your way out.”
So much for fucking like rabbits this afternoon. Instead, I have some finagling to do in order to make this restaurant tasting happen. It’s good to have friends in a variety of fields, but first, I’ll call Jackson on the drive and fill him in on Cici. It’s clear he doesn’t have to worry about her. She’s one tough cookie and determined to come out on top. When she puts her mind to something, she’s a force to be reckoned with, that’s for damn sure. Her boycott of my bed is a perfect case. But I’ll take what I can get at this point.
4
MAN WHORE
Cici
Holy moly. I slump back in my chair as soon as the door closes and lay my head back with my eyes closed, trying to calm my pounding heart. How did I manage to make it through that whole conversation and not jump over the desk right into his lap? That man drives me crazy and is undoubtedly the one I can’t afford to give in to. Because he’s right, dammit, and he darn well knows it. We are explosive together—there’s no denying it—but the problem isn’t our chemistry in the bedroom; it’s our chemistry out of it.
The orchid he brought me is a perfect example. He’s kind, thoughtful, too damn perfect, and everything I’ve avoided in every relationship I’ve had. The last thing I want is to be attached to someone, to be controlled, to have him try to change me or make me commit. I like my freedom. And dammit, I like running my own life.
If I were to give in to Eli, I’d drown in him and lose myself in the process.And Iwill notend up staying here for a man. If anyone could understand why I moved away, it would be him. We’ve talked a lotin the past about the pressure I felt from my parents. He understood my position since he himself took over his family’s business. The difference was that he wanted to.
Even if I were strong enough to leave after starting something up again, that wouldn’t be fair to Eli. He would only end up hurt. But damn, it’s getting tiresome to keep up this resistance. So why did I say yes to joining him for a meal? It was a moment of weakness. Let’s just hope I don’t have another, because I’ve never in my life wanted someone so badly.
For now? I think it’s time for some liquid therapy… right after I call Poppy and spill my guts for some friend therapy.
Poppy picks up on the first ring. “Hey, girl. How’s big-city life treating you?”
“Good, bad, and everything in between.”
“Oh boy. How about you start with the good?”
“It’s fun to be back in the city. The tall buildings, the lights, the people—I’ve missed it, just not enough to move back.”
“And what about Eli? Did you give up and get down yet?” she asks, making me laugh.
“I’m always shocked at your crassness with how conservative you are.”
“Just because I’m not banging all the eligible men in Bozeman doesn’t mean I don’t know how to talk the talk. I happen to like my romance novels just fine. While you’re screwing, I’m reading.”
“Oh, Poppy, we need to find you a man.”
“And give up my vibrator? Nah. I’ll pass.”
“Who said you have to give up your toys?”
“Every man with small-penis syndrome, which covers about eighty percent.”
“And how would you even know that?”
“I read enough of what women are fantasizing about, whichmeans they’re not getting it, so there must not be many well-endowed men in the world.”
All I can do is laugh for a minute before responding, “I hate to break it to you, but your theory is flawed. They might not be fantasizing at all since there areplentyof big dicks to be had. Which leads us back to you needing a man. Apparently, a well-endowed one.”
“With that revelation, I’ll be sure to update my dating profile. Now quit stalling and tell me what’s going on.”
“Honestly, nothing. I’m getting exactly what I wanted, but what I want is denying myself what I fricking want.”
“Cici!”
“I made it clear to Eli we’re not hooking up… and even though it’s for the best, I can’t help but mourn the thought of him.”
“No doubt. That man is fine, and I bethehas a big dick.”
“Oh my God, Poppy!”
