“I’m still throwing around a few ideas. Thankfully, I’m not in a rush. My first priority is to find someplace to live.”
“Well, I know a realtor if you need one,” Matt says conspiratorially.
I butt in. “Hey. Nice try—he’s my brother.” After scolding Matt teasingly, I turn to Grayson. “Are you looking to purchase or rent a house? You could always stay at Mom and Dad’s until you figure out what you want to do. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.”
Grayson scoffs. “I’d mind. I love being home, but not living at home. I’m too old for that. I’m ready to put some roots down.”
“Can you afford to buy something?” I ask, surprised.
The waiter arrives with our drinks and takes our orders before Grayson answers.
“Poppy, I’ve been in the military for twelve years with no expenses whatsoever, no family, and no time to waste money on stupid shit. The only thing I’ve done with it is learn how to invest it and make more of it.” Grayson smirks and swigs his beer.
“Oh, well, that’s good,” I say, stunned at the revelation that he’s done so well for himself. I wasn’t expecting him to have anything to his name after the military, but I obviously didn’t give it much thought. “Let me know what you’re thinking, and I’ll see what’s out there. Don’t be surprised if it takes longer than it took to find your truck, though.” I smirk back at him.
The rest of dinner goes better than expected. Matt and Grayson hit it off remarkably, almost making me feel like a third wheel. Grayson tells us about wanting to start a business with a few of his SEALbuddies, but he’s not sure exactly what yet. He’s got some great ideas, though, and the three of us have fun brainstorming.
All in all, dinner is a perfect distraction—until it isn’t.
When I walk in my front door at the end of the night, I’m right back where I started the day he left. It may be the couple of drinks I had or just the long week, but either way, as soon as my head hits the pillow, the tears flow heavily.
Braden
It’s been a long week, and I’m a fucking wreck. It feels like I’m trapped in an endless pursuit. I’ve texted, called, sent two letters, and I’m no closer to getting her back than the day I left. Short of stalking and showing up on her doorstep, I’m out of options. I feel like shit, I look like shit, and if it weren’t for the fact that it’s Monday, I’d smell like shit.
As it is, I’m freshly showered, shaved, and styled. I’m on autopilot these days, and the motions come naturally. My mind, however, is constantly fixated on the one thing I’ve managed to screw up completely. Never in my life have I fucked up this bad. And usually when I do, I can fix it.
It’s one of those rare situations where I have no solution, and I’ve exhausted my brain trying to find one. It must show because as I walk toward my office, Warren glances up before following me inside and shutting the door.
He flops down in front of my desk. “I was hoping you’d be somewhat coherent after the weekend, but it’s obviously intervention time. What’s it gonna take to have you pull your head out of your ass and focus? You may have earned your partner status, but if you keep this up, you’ll lose it just as fast.”
“It’s almost Christmas. Everyone’s too busy preparing for the holidays to notice. I’ll be fine.” I wave my hand in the air, brushing him off. My job is the last thing I’m worried about right now.
“Well, you’re not fine now, and we’ve got a lot of shit to do before you leave next week.”
The trip to Florida for the holidays with my mom and stepfamily is weighing me down. It’s the last thing I want to do while the situation with Poppy is unresolved, but I’ve already committed and can’t cancel the one time of year I visit.
“Yeah, I know. I’ll pull my shit together.”
“You better, or I’ll return your Christmas present,” he says straight-faced.
I laugh, which feels foreign since it’s been so long.
“I’m serious.” He chuckles and makes his way to the door. “You love presents, so do what it takes to get back on track,” he calls over his shoulder on the way out.
The minute the door shuts, an idea comes to mind, and I open Amazon to look when the sequel to the first book Poppy and I read together on the plane is due to be released. Dammit, not until mid-January. Well, it’s better than months from now, and there’s a chance she still won’t be talking to me by then, which means it’s worth a shot.
I looked up the author’s website to contact her, and after sending an email that hopefully doesn’t end up being discarded, I’m feeling more optimistic than I have in days. If I don’t hear back within a week, I’ll have Justin track her down. While this new strategy doesn’t guarantee forgiveness, it might bring a smile to Poppy’s face. That’s the least I can do at this point.
With a plan in place, I was finally able to concentrate on work and make sure everything was in order for Warren while away. I sent two more letters to Poppy before flying to my mom’s and another from her house. With a Florida postmark, I was worried it might stir the pot, but if I’m working on transparency, it is what it is.
Luckily, the author responded enthusiastically, and the wheels are set in motion for a special delivery in a couple more weeks. I’d love it to be sooner, but beggars can’t be choosers. I’m just glad she had a soft spot for me and was willing to fulfill my request.
The holiday at my mom’s went well and ended with promises to visit more. But with the distance and both of us settled in our own lives, the chances aren’t likely. She hasn’t come here since sheremarried, and although I’m thrilled she’s being taken care of, I’m not altogether fond of her husband.
Hence, I’m relieved to be back home, and about to meet up with the group for New Year’s Eve. The only thing missing is Poppy, who hasn’t left my mind for weeks now. It pains me to think she’s spending New Year’s with someone else, a date perhaps, which tears me apart to consider.
Every day, I wonder if she’s read my letters while deep down knowing she hasn’t. My plan is to send two more per week until my peace offering arrives and then decide what to do from there—most likely another trip to Bozeman. I’ve given her space, but she’ll have to face me eventually.
