“I’m sorry, Poppy. I didn’t have the whole story when Eli asked for your address. I wouldn’t have given it to him, I swear,” Cici says over the phone after I’ve filled her in on everything.
“Braden would have found it one way or another, I’m sure.”
“True. This sucks. I can’t believe he did that.”
“Tell me about it. But what’s worse? That he did it, or that I was dumb enough to fall for it? I’m so stupid,” I whine.
“You are not. How could you have known?”
“There were signs. I should’ve picked up on the similarities or noticed how they talked the same. Instead, I was oblivious while chatting with them each night. Dammit… I’m just so mad at myself. I can’t believe I almost committed to someone who lied so easily.”
“You’re not the first and won’t be the last to be catfished. It’s not your fault. He fooled me too. First, he needed your number because he said you left something at his house, then he asked Eli about the dating app. I should’ve figured out right then that something was up. I’m partly responsible.”
“If it’s not my fault, then it’s definitely not yours, so don’t beat yourself up. That’s reserved for Braden.”
“You’re telling me. Next time he’s here, I’ll give him a piece of my mind.”
“Don’t waste your breath—it won’t make a difference. And anyway, I’m moving on. I just wish I hadn’t started liking him so much. It feels like we broke up, but we weren’t even together. Ugh, it’s so frustrating. I’m all over the place—one minute, I’m pissed, the next minute I’m sad, and every now and then, I want to call him up and forgive him. And that just proves how stupid I am.”
“Stop saying that. He was the first guy you were with, which made him special, and you were falling for him.”
“I’m pretty sure I fell off the cliff, but rather than soar, I sank straight to the bottom.”
“Oh, Poppy, I’m so sorry. You’ll get through this, especially with the holidays around the corner and your brother coming home. You’ll be fine in no time—just hang in there.”
“Thanks, Cici. But let’s change the subject. How’s Abby doing? And what about Lily and Sami?”
The following twenty minutes fly by as Cici tells me how awesome it’s been to have Lily and Sami next door. They’re together all the time with their new babies. And while I love hearing how great everything is and how happy they are, it’s another reminder I’m back where I started and nowhere closer to finding my Mr. Forever and starting a family. This sucks.
Four days later, I’m in worse shape than before. Probably because of the letter I got today from Braden. He must’ve figured out I’ve blocked him and resorted to snail mail. It went straight into my junk drawer. Since my brother’s arriving tonight, I can’t focus on the Braden situation. I’m already nervous about concealing my crappy mood, and reading that won’t help.
He arrives at six after flying for thirty hours, so he’ll probably be exhausted, but that won’t stop us from celebrating his arrival with dinner at my parents’. He’ll stay with them until he figures out whereto live permanently, whether he buys something or rents. I would’ve offered to let him crash at my place, but they have way more room than I do.
“Grayson gets in today, right?” Matt asks as he pops into my office and leans his hip against the desk.
“Yes, I’m so excited.” I smile genuinely for the first time in almost a week. “He hasn’t been here since last Christmas, and won’t be leaving this time. It’s weird—in a good way.”
“I’m sure it’ll be nice to have him back. Not to mention a great distraction. Are you feeling any better?” He crosses his arms, concern written in his features.
“No, not really. I’m so used to talking to them every night. And now, I go home, read a book—something I did with Braden—and realize how alone I am again. It’s so stupid since neither of them were even here.” I groan. “I need to stop sayingthem. It was only ever Braden. The whole thing sucks. And the worst part is that I miss him.”
“That’s normal. Feelings don’t go away overnight, no matter the circumstances. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’ll fade, and having your brother around should make it easier.”
“Yeah, I hope so. Speaking of, I was hoping the three of us could go for dinner and drinks this weekend. Are you free?”
“Definitely. I’ve got to meet this brother I’ve heard so much about.”
My second genuine smile appears as we make a plan before getting back to work.
Leaving a few hours later, I drive to Mom and Dad’s house so we can pick up Grayson together. At the airport, I hold a sign that says, “Welcome home, Grayson… For good,” as he exits the doors. He hugs my parents enthusiastically, then picks me up and swings me around as we embrace.
I expected him to have multiple bags full to the brim from seven years away, but he only has his army-assigned duffel filled with clothes, as if returning from a vacation.
Our family dinner didn’t last long. Grayson was exhausted andcould barely function due to the flight and time change. So, shortly after we ate, I told him to rest so we could go out on Saturday to catch up, and then quickly took my leave.
Now that we’re older and somewhat on the same level, it’s a different relationship than when he left. I’ve matured, and we seem to relate better. I’m excited to become more like friends than siblingsifhe doesn’t go crazy on the big brother role by interfering in my dating life. Although I may need some intervention since my intuition seems to be lacking.
As I lay in bed replaying the night, I realize how nice it was to stop thinking about Braden for a few hours. I managed to appear normal instead of the blubbering mess I’ve been for the past week. From having missed Grayson so much, the excitement of him being home made it easy.
