The thought freezes me in place.
How I feel about her.
Christ. What am I thinking?
"Caterina has leverage," I say instead, forcing myself back to strategy. "She'll use it. My father will support her. They'll make sure the story spreads until it's everywhere."
"I know."
"It will destroy your teaching career. The school board won't keep you once parents find out. They'll call you a danger to children. A bad influence."
She takes a deep, steadying breath. "I know."
"And it will hurt me. My reputation. My position with Matteo. Every deal I've made will be questioned. Every alliance will be reconsidered."
"I know." Her voice breaks. "Dante I… I think the best would be if I left."
The words hit like a punch to the gut.
"What?"
"I'm leaving." She straightens her shoulders, trying for strength she doesn't have. "Tonight. I'll pack my things, leave your house, disappear. You can tell everyone we broke up. That you found out about my past and ended it. Protect yourself."
"No."
"Dante—"
"I said no." I close the distance between us. "You're not leaving."
"I have to! Don't you see? If I stay, I destroy you. Me. Everything we've worked for, everything you've built—it all falls apart because of me. Because of choices I made that I can't take back."
"I don't care."
"You should care!" She shoves at my chest. "You should care about your reputation, your position, your future. You should choose all of that over me. Over whatever this is between us."
"And what is this?" I grab her wrists, hold her still. "Tell me, Bianca. What is this?"
She looks up at me, and I see it. The same realization I'm having. The same truth we've both been avoiding.
"I don't know," she whispers. "But it's not worth your whole life."
"What if you are?" The words come out before I can stop them. "What if you're worth more than all of it?"
Tears spill down her cheeks. "Don't say that. Don't make this harder than it already is."
"Too late." I pull her against me, feel her shake. "It's already hard. It's already complicated. And I'm already in too deep to let you walk away."
She cries into my chest, her hands fisting in my jacket. And I hold her while the city moves below us, uncaring about our crisis.
Because I have to choose.
Keep her and risk everything. Or let her go and save myself.
The smart play is obvious. End it. Let Caterina win. Marry her, unite the families, protect my position.
But when I look down at Bianca—broken and ashamed and still the strongest person I know—I realize something that terrifies me.
I don't want to make the smart play anymore.
