I should be happy.
But I just feel guilty.
Guilty for the way Benedikt looked at me that day.
Guilty for not saying anything.
Guilty for the bakery that sits like a diamond at the center of my conscience—his gift, his investment, his mark on my supposed independence.
He tried to give me everything, and I betrayed him with the people he can’t stand.
Lucy’s voice pulls me from my thoughts. “You’ve been zoning out a lot lately. Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Just tired.”
“Uh-huh.” She eyes me skeptically, lifting herself on the counter to sit. “You’ve been tired for a week straight.”
“It’s been busy, right?”
“Yeah.” She hesitates for a moment. “But busy doesn’t look like you staring into space.”
I shoot her a look, but she just laughs, pulling her hair into a messy ponytail. “You sure you’re not overworking yourself? I know we want to open as quickly as possible, but we don’t need to kill ourselves over it.”
“It’s better than overthinking.”
Her gaze softens a little. “You know, if you ever want to talk about whatever’s making you throw yourself into this?—”
“I’m fine, Luce.”
My voice finally gives up on the cool and collected act. I’m exhausted that Grandma, Lucy, and even my regulars at the bakery keep asking if I’m okay.
I’m not.
But I have to be. And I wish everyone would read the room and give me some space.
Lucy lifts her hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. Just checking. I’m here, ’kay?”
I couldn’t push her away if I moved away.
She’d follow me, call me, and put ways to look up your runaway best friend on her Pinterest board.
I can’t blame her for the chaos in my head because she doesn’t know.
She doesn’t know the bakery wasn’t a miracle opportunity, but Benedikt’s way of owning another piece of me.
Even though I tell myself that it’s mine now, and I earned it for agreeing to what he needed, I can’t shake the shame that I’m living off something he bought for me.
“I have to head out,” Lucy quips, sliding off the countertop. “I have dinner with my brother and this new girlfriend he wants me to meet.”
“Rachel?”
“Melody.”
I make a face. “Who?”
“Exactly.” Lucy rolls her eyes. “I’m betting on a pretty brunette without a clue. You know Logan is famous for dating duds.”
I smile. “Be nice, Luce.”
