My head pops up. “It wasn’t so bad.” I feel grateful to be alive. That I was protected for all of these years. “This is the life I’ve accepted in order to stay safe. There are just too many obstacles in the way if I venture outside of my comfort zone. And I didn’t want to risk bringing harm to any of you. It’s bad enough thatIhave to live this way.”
“But you’re already out of your comfort zone. You left Florida behind you and took a chance.”
She crosses her arms over her chest as if gearing up for a lecture. “If you look in the dictionary under the word possibilities, you’ll see a glossy 8 x 10 photo of me.” She rubs her swollen belly. “I never imagined the life I have right now was possible. The biggest thing on my horizon was simply winning a Christmas in July contest, hoping I could open an eatery in the town I was trapped in.”
She looks over my shoulder, as if trying to recall how pitiful things were back then. “Now I’m living an incredible life in an angelic place.” She reaches over and grabs my hand. “You deserve all of that and more. Don’t sell yourself short. Look at what you accomplished given all you were struggling with. And you hid it all from me. From almost everyone.”
Her face scrunches. “I should be angry that you didn’t feel you could trust me enough to share, but I get it. It only underlines how incredibly brave you are.” There are tears shining in her eyes, and I can feel the warmth of her pride radiating toward me.
I squeeze her hand. “I’m so grateful to have met you when Itransferred to Christmas High. That time in my life was so tumultuous. It was all I could do to get from one day to the next. Who knew I’d have the gift of your friendship all these Christmases later?” I dab the tears from the corners of my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“What on earth for?”
“Potentially bringing my demons to your doorstep. Back then… and now.”
“You listen to me, Char. I adore Matt. I’ve yearned for him since before I knew what love was. But mark my words. You are the true love of my life.”
“What?”
“You’ve had my back through thick and thin. I don’t know how I would’ve survived my senior year of high school and those awful bullies if it hadn’t been for you. Some of the most defining moments in my life happened with you by my side. You dried my tears when my grandma Joan died, held me when Pops joined her, and kept my head held high when Matt moved back home and took my heart to Sycamore Mountain with him. You are my rock, Charlene. And don’t ever doubt I’m the same for you.”
Tears tumble down my cheeks at her declaration. “I love you, Ellie.”
She exhales softly. “You’ve been carrying all of this alone.”
I nod, blinking hard. “It was safer that way.”
She studies me for a long moment, then says, “You know, for someone who’s been through hell, you’re still pretty damn strong. But even the strongest people need somewhere to land.”
I look away, the lump in my throat growing. “I’m not sure how.”
Her voice softens. “Then maybe it’s time to let someone catch you.”
I know who she means. She doesn’t say his name, but I can feel it hanging between us.
“Dave’s a good man,” she continues. “One of the best. He doesn’t do things halfway. If he’s in, he’s all in. And I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you.”
That ache in my chest returns, sharp and unrelenting. I wrap myarms around myself and shake my head. “I can’t… not right now. I’m just too overwhelmed.”
Ellie sighs but doesn’t argue. “Okay. Then what do you need?”
“I just need space. To think. To breathe. To remember who I am when I’m not running or falling apart.”
She frowns, clearly worried. “Where will you go?”
“I don’t know yet. Maybe somewhere quiet. Somewhere no one knows me.”
Ellie studies me, her expression a mix of compassion and unease. “You don’t have to disappear again, Char. You can stay here while you figure things out. We’ll give you space.”
I shake my head. “I’d only drag you all into my mess.”
Her hand finds mine, squeezing gently. “You already did,” she says with a gentle gleam in her eye. There’s no accusation there, only concern. “And we’re still here.”
I force a smile. “I’ll stay in touch. Promise.”
Ellie searches my face like she wants to believe me. “You’d better.”
Heading to my room, I pack my things and grab my cell phone. It may not be for long, but I need a visit to my fairy godmother.
