His enchanting blue eyes bore into mine. “You look beautiful, Quinn.” His voice is so soft and sincere it’s doing a number on my resolve. When I hesitate a bit too long, he adds, “It’s perfect, actually. And no pressure. I’ll bring you back home whenever you’re ready.” He holds out the flowers for me, and I can’t help but pull them in for a long inhale.
“Let me grab my coat.”What are you doing, Quinn?You should’ve just said you’d meet him at Mug Life for coffee tomorrow. But who am I kidding? I don’t have it in me to send him away. Not after yearning for him the way I have.
We climb into Jason’s truck and ride in uncomfortable silence, each of us quietly sneaking cautious glances at the other as he drives. About twenty minutes later, it’s clear we’re headed toward his dad’s home, and my nerves begin to jump.
He drives past his father’s place and turns onto the dirt road that leads to the Christmas tree farm.
My happy place.
Oh, please don’t ruin it for me, I inwardly plead.
“Thank you.”
My head springs up, utterly confused. “For what?”
He tilts his head in the direction we’d just traveled. “My dad told me how you’ve looked out for him over the years. As if I needed another reason…” Jason’s head drops between his shoulders, and I bite my lower lip, deciding to let him speak his peace without interjecting. Regardless of the direction the conversation takes. “It means a lot to me.”
Once Jason parks the truck, he adjusts himself in his seat to face me, takes a noticeable breath, and begins. I give him a reassuring smile, my heart thudding in my chest.
“I wanted to apologize for not coming to find you to say goodbye before I left.” He pauses, as if trying to find his words. “I need to be completely honest with you. When I was standing alone at the Christmas tree lighting, surrounded by couples and families, a familiar wave of rejection hit me like a ton of bricks. All of those feelings of humiliation and betrayal came rushing back, just like it was yesterday. It felt suffocating, like I was having a panic attack. I needed to get out of there.”
My hand flies to my chest. This whole time I’d been feeling sorry for myself. That he left the way he had. But he thoughtI’drejectedhim.
“It’s no excuse. I should’ve reached out to you before I left. But I was worried in my current state, I’d only make things worse. And you deserved more than a phone call after that. So, I decided to get back home. Sit with my first love, Mother Nature. Get still and find the right thing to say.” He looks away and my chest aches for all he’s been through. How hard it’s been for him to trust someone with his heart again.
“When I came here, I was determined to stay focused on Dad. I had no plans to hook up with anyone while I was here.”
So, he did just think it was a hook up.
“I fully expected to return home at the end of the six weeks and pick up as if I’d never left. I’ve built a life I’m proud of in Sycamore Mountain. My job has gone better than I could’ve dreamed, working alongside some of the best men I’ve ever known. It never dawned on me I could have more... with you.” He stops, reaching behind his neck as if trying to manage the tension, to no avail. “Trying the long-distance thing seemed like too much to ask. Hell, the woman I was engaged to refused to join me. So why would this smart, beautiful, confident young creature who could have anyone she wanted go back and forth?”
I can’t help myself, and reach over, taking his hand in mine.
“Quinn, we’d only spent a few weeks together, but the ache of your absence now that I’m home feels cavernous. Once I could embrace the silence and really digest my feelings, it became abundantly clear I never felt this hurt after breaking up with Corinne. All I felt then was anger.”
Lifting my palm to his mouth, he places feather light kisses to the inside of my wrist. Jason’s eyes flick back up to meet mine; the earnestness I see causes my eyes to well with tears. “I feel hollow. My head is screaming to stay the course. My future is in that mountain town I fell in love with years ago.” He gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “But how do I move forward when my heart is in Magnolia Point?”
“Oh.” I exhale, blinking rapidly to stave off the tears.
I’m so in love with this man.
He turns to look out the windshield, and I sit quietly, ensuring he’s able to say whatever is on his heart without interruption. “Quinn, I gave up things that were important to me in order to keep Corinne in my life. And it’s clear to me that relationship was only skin deep. If she could destroy me the wayshedid… then what on earth couldyoudo to me?” His deep blue eyes seem to plead for understanding.
My heart is in my throat at his tender words. He exits the car before I can say anything to reassure him, so I take that moment to dab away my tears and try to gather my composure.
Could this really be happening?
Jason opens the car door and leads me over to the Christmas tree farm. An inflatable mattress covered in flannel sheets, blankets, pillows, snacks, mugs, and a thermos lies in front of the remaining Christmas trees. It isn’t until I’m seated, and he’s wrapping a blanket around my shoulders, that I notice he has a movie screen set up. As he points a remote in the direction of the screen, white lights spring to life, adorning the rows of trees on the lot asIt’s a Wonderful Lifestarts to play.
He remembered. This incredible man remembered.
“I can’t believe you did all of this.”
Smiling down at me, Jason pulls me into his side. It feels like a dream. It’s as if I’m living that Taylor Swift song from my fantasies. There’s a steady stream of tears now. No sense hiding it. It’s then I decide to go all in because it can’t get any better than this.
“Jason, it may have only been a few weeks foryou, but I feel as if I’ve loved you since the day Ian introduced you to our family all of those years ago.” His eyes go wide. “A silly teenage crush I never outgrew.”
I sit up to ensure he understands I’m serious. “I don’t want to scare you. But you’re giving me the chance to say all the things I couldn’t before. And I don’t want any regrets.” Taking a fortifying breath, I lift my chin in a show of confidence I don’t actually feel. “If you’d asked me to do the long-distance thing and eventually join you, I would’ve jumped at the chance. I know how much Sycamore Mountain means to you. I can do my job from anywhere. I want to be where you are, Jase. Nothing would make me happier.”
