Chapter 20
Matt
“What? Why?”
But she’s already out of the truck and walking down the dirt drive with her arms wrapped around her. There’s no chill in the air. Her posture reminds me of how she’d look after Jennifer hurled insults at her as if she was cowering in on herself.
“Wait!” I yell, chasing after her. Grabbing her arm, I pull her toward me. “What did I say?”
She rubs her arm where I’ve yanked her, and I instantly cringe. I didn’t mean to be rough, but something is clearly wrong.
“Just cut the crap, Hightower. I was there, remember? I heard it all.” She’s livid. Her face is flushed, and there’s a fire in her eyes I’ve never seen before. Hell, if it weren’t related to something I might’ve done, it’d be hot.
“Heard what?”
She rolls her eyes at me before putting her balled fists on her hips. “Jenn asking you if I was what you wanted now, mocking me as usual.”
My head drops.Why hadn’t I grown a pair and defended her? I was a self-absorbed coward.
“Then you said, I’m not into ugly chicks.” She practically spits the words out.
My head springs up at the accusation. I remember that moment clearly. “No! You’ve got it all wrong.”
I rush over to her only to see her retreat a few steps. “Ellie, I was referring to her. We’d broken up the night before because I told her I was sick of the way she treated people. You, specifically. I’d worried I’d only added more fuel to the fire. Over the years, I’ve harbored a lot of guilt for not being man enough to defend you. I should’ve pushed back more than I did, but I saw what happened when one of them was challenged and didn’t want...” Running my hand through my hair in frustration, I can’t help but pace.
“Look. You’re right. I was weak and pathetic. A fucking coward. I should’ve done something. I liked you.” I stop walking to and fro, looking directly at her so there’s no mistaking what I’m saying. “I was more attracted to you than you could possibly know. Your skin, your lips, and hair. And don’t get me started on how I fantasized about your ass.” I pause to ensure she hears every word. “But those eyes. They hypnotized me all those years ago. I saw them in my dreams, Ellie. Still do.”
Her lids spring open in shock. Good. She needs to know. I can’t believe I’m sharing this, but I need to get this out there once and for all.
“And you never let them get to you. At least not that anyone else could see. You were a badass.” I shake my head at the memory of her lifting her chin higher with each insult. “I wasn’t as strong as you were. My insecurities got the best of me, and I knew it was only a matter of time before they came after me.”
Ellie tilts her head to the side with a look of cynicism.
I continue, my tone sharp, “I would’ve been next once they figured out my dad bailed on us, and my mom was working two jobs between cancer treatments to keep us from losing our home.” My heart clenches at the memory. My poor mother has worked her whole life tirelessly caring for us, only to not recognize Harry or me most days.
I take a few steps closer, and I’m surprised when she doesn’t move away. “It’s still no excuse, but I was overwhelmed. I got my first tattoo hoping to find something I could cling to. Like embracing where I was born would give me an identity.” Stupid, given I knew so little about the country I was permanently marking my skin with. “It turned into a bit of an addiction.” I scan my eyes over the multitude of black and red tattoos covering my skin. “Yet the joke was on me. My birth parents hadn’t wanted me, or I wouldn’t have ended up in an orphanage. And after talking to my mother about the adoption process, she let it slip that she and Dad weren’t allowed to sign legal papers until it was clear no Russian couple was interested.”
I rub at the ornate cathedral inked on my chest to dull the familiar ache beginning to churn. I thought I was past this. A sarcastic chuckle escapes as I form my next sentence. “Then dear old Dad flies all the way to Russia to get me, only to discard Harry and me when he decided he was done with all of us.”
I glance at Ellie again, hoping she’ll grant me some mercy. “My only focus was getting the hell out of here.” My voice is barely above a whisper. I take one more step toward her, our chests touching. “But, god, I wanted you. Never doubt that.”
How do I convince this girl I’ve always dreamed of her?
Every. Delicious. Curve.
Chapter 21
Ellie
This man. This beautifully tortured man.
I close the remaining space between us and rise on my toes to place a kiss on the corner of his mouth.
Matt swiftly wraps his arms around me, lifting me up so my legs encircle his waist before taking my mouth with his. He lets out a groan that causes a flutter in my lower belly, and I cling onto his muscular form as he walks us back to his truck.
My head is spinning as he puts me down long enough to drop the tailgate before lifting me up to sit on the end. Matt quickly joins me, pulling me onto his lap to continue the heated kiss. His hands take hold of my hair, angling my head to deepen our kiss. He tastes of mint and longing. Our tongues dance naturally together, much as our bodies had earlier in the evening. Everything with him just feels effortless.
Well, as much as ten years of wanting what you thought you couldn’t have could be considered effortless.
