“Not now.”
Unfortunately, it had to be now. She was soft, relaxed, soothed by the water and his touch. By the time he pulled the plug, she’d be ready to sleep if she wasn’t already in dreamland, and when she woke… those surefire defenses she relied on would be standing firm, determined to keep him out.
“Did I scare you,beignet?” he asked, running the cloth down her arm to her hand and cleaning her fingers, one by one.
“No.”
“I do not lie to you, Violet; extend me the same courtesy if you please.” His tone sharpened, then gentled again. “Were you scared when you ran, when I was searching for you?”
The lie appeared to stick in her sore throat, the defiantnolodged there like a thorn. She swallowed hard. “I wasn’t scared. Perhaps it was… unsettling to be hunted like a damn deer, but there was no real fear.”
“We never explored consensual nonconsent scenes in the past. I’ve been rough with you before, but taking away your consent even with your permission is not something we ever discussed.” Setting her hand back in the water, he paid special attention to her upper chest and breasts. “Were you aroused when you ran?”
She opened her eyes long enough to sear him with a scathing look. “I’d been riding your cock not five minutes before, Reaux. Of course I was aroused.”
“Ah, let me rephrase that, then. Did the idea of being chased, caught, and fucked make that glorious cunt want to orgasm or hide in a dark corner?”
“Crude,” she muttered.
“It’s a flaw. Answer the question.”
“You are relentless. I wanted to orgasm, okay? The prospect of it was edgy and oddly appealing. We think we’re apex predators because we have weapons; there are dozens of animals and reptiles who have natural attack and defense mechanisms.” She moaned when he cupped her breast with the cloth. “Becoming prey, having an opportunity to fight back, was exhilarating to some fucked up piece of my mind.”
“Yes, I noticed how engaged you were when trying to gouge out my heart with your bare hands.” He lifted his other hand to trace the bloodied slices marring his chest, missing his prized tattoo by a scarce inch. “Taking my cock in your ass would’ve been the least of your worries if you’d damaged the violets,beignet.”
Her eyebrows lifted in surprise. “The tattoo means that much to you?”
“Indeed. Each flower represents a year of my life with you, time and memories I cherish. Time I will never regret spending with you. It is…” He stroked her nipple thoughtfully as he tried to gather the right words to express just what the ink meant. “Every morning when I woke without you, showered without you, I would stand and look at it in the mirror. Feel my heart beat beneath it without passion. Feel it dying day by day. The ink was not a replacement for you; it kept you close to me.”
When she didn’t reply, Reaux lifted his gaze to her face.
Ah, here was the crack in her composure.
Damp eyes, trembling bottom lip.
“Does this upset you, to know what I’ve been trying to tell you along?” The cloth splashed in the water as he grasped her face firmly in his hands. “I will forever take responsibility for what happened to us, Violet. I will strip myself bare to make reparations. This,” he said quietly, tapping his fingers over the tattoo, “means everything to me. You mean so much more.”
A tear slid down her cheek, wiped away with a caress of his thumb. “I honestly believed hating you would solve everything. It was supposed to erase you from my life, kill off the memories and love.”
“But I am immortal, yes?” He kissed a tear away, tasting yet another of those rarities.
“An immortal asshole,” she replied, laughing through a sob.
Before he realized what he was doing, he kissed her. Soft at first, tentative and sweet. Familiarizing himself with the shape of her mouth again, drinking in her moan. It was a new version of heaven, one where conflict and turmoil didn’t exist.
Her arms lifted from the water, her hands sliding into his hair and holding on. It was she who deepened the kiss without urgency, slowly dragging them both into old, welcome territory.
Before they sank too deep, Reaux broke away with a quiet brush of lips over the corner of her mouth. “Kiss me like that again when we make love, Bennie.”
“Why not now?”
“Because I’m not done with aftercare, and there are wounds to be tended before then. I need you to give me more of these,” he said quietly, tracing a tear track. “Crying is healing. It purges and cleanses.”
“I’m fine, Boudreaux.”
If she believed that, perhaps he had fucked her too hard. He felt her pain throbbing from within, ruthlessly chained down.The links were straining to contain it, fissures appearing in the weakest points.
Time to apply pressure on those areas, to pull against them until they shattered.
