“He didn’t force me.”
“Okay, so the jewels are safe for the time being. What aren’t you telling me, sweetheart?” His voice turned so soft and gentle, it was hypnotizing.
This was one of the reasons Callie adored him so much, Violet realized. He was safety incarnate, compassionate, firm without being overbearing. The lighter side of their trio, whereas Elias was the dark—compelling, strict, demanding. A different kind of security in dark angel form.
“I either made a huge mistake, or did something worthwhile with my life. I’m not entirely sure which yet.” She supposed if anyone deserved to know the truth, it was Evander. Despite his recent shortcomings, he’d always been there for her when she needed a shoulder, although she usually gravitated more toward Merrick for that.
Now, with Tamsyn in the picture, she tried to limit that friendship so that Merrick could concentrate on the love of his life, along with her complicated issues.
“Whatever I tell you, it can’t get back to Reaux. Not yet, not until I know things for certain and wrap my own head around it first.”
“Okay.” He settled back, patiently waiting, without a single mention of a pinky swear, thank God. “Lay it on me, Mistress. I’m not in a rush.”
Hesitantly, she vocally replayed the scene she and Reaux had done, then what happened after. She explained about the lack of a condom, and the disaster in the medical clinic, pausing when Evander laughed quietly. “That’s funny?”
“No, it just explains a hell of a lot. Mainly why Reaux is losing his mind trying to find you. He gave a damn good effort attempting to pry a secret out of Tabitha, but she held stronguntil she confessed in front of everyone that she was the one who took the Plan B.”
“Oh shit.” Violet’s heart ached for the woman—Grit was going to be incredibly upset about that revelation—and then she understood the deeper connection. “Fuck, he knows. The confession tipped him off.”
“Yeah. Honestly, he was pretty persuasive with Tabitha, but she was sticking to her guns. She never actually spilled your secret.”
“No, she just gave him the means to work it out himself.” More resigned than angry, she sagged back into the pillows. “How did Grit take it?”
“Well, after he, Eli, and I gave her a verbal lashing, Tabitha went into survival mode. She shuts herself down, closes herself off. An ingrained habit from...”
“I’m aware of her past.”
They exchanged a sympathetic look for a woman who didn’t want or need their sympathy. Tabitha was unlike any other person of Violet’s acquaintance; she was strong, vicious, insanely intelligent, a little bit cuckoo, and when she was with Grit, soft as butter on a hot day.
“They’ll be okay,” Evander assured her. “Grit will make sure of it. He lives and breathes for her and, yeah, this is gonna piss him off for a while, but he knows her better than anyone. He’ll understand her reasons, and give her a lesson in trusting him with shit like this instead of reverting back to Miss Independent again.”
“Yeah, we seem to be big on giving lessons around here,” she muttered to herself.
“Seems to me, you have one to learn yourself.”
Her eyebrows rose quickly, her gaze turning cold. “Oh really.”
“A lesson in hope, Violet.” Not bothered by her withering stare, Evander shrugged his massive shoulders. “Hope for thefuture, for the dreams you set aside and left behind. When hope dies, we don’t have much to live for. All we need is a spark, a tiny ember, to keep us ticking along until it erupts into a flame and banishes the shadows. That’s your lesson. Learn to believe in Reaux, to forgive him his sins, and hope for the outcome you truly desire.”
His words were a knife, cold and sharp, sliding between her ribs to pierce her heart. The general consensus from her friends was all the same, pushing her toward the open wounds Reaux had left in her heart and soul, urging her to trust and love and open herself to the pain again.
“I don’t have to ask if you’ve thought about what happens if you’re pregnant.”
She shook her head. Tabitha’s confession was barely a blip on her radar now she knew Boudreaux had been inadvertently apprised of the situation. “It’s too early to confirm yes or no. I’m too far over the limit to use emergency contraception, so it comes down to whether I’m pregnant or I’m not.”
“There’s always…”
Violet laughed softly, bitterly, and wiped an errant tear away before it escaped down her cheek. “No, there isn’t. How can I possibly contemplate an abortion when Sierra and other women like her are fighting to conceive? The system is clogged with unwanted kids stuck in foster care, waiting to be adopted. Termination and abandonment are not on the cards, Evander. If I’m pregnant, the baby will be loved and raised by me.”
“And Reaux?”
“I don’t know,” she said honestly.
He nodded, evidently satisfied with that for now. “If things don’t go to plan, you are always welcome to stay here, or come back if needs be. Your family will support you however you need us to. I’m going to go downstairs and hogtie Reaux before he starts ripping the plasterboard off the walls.” He paused, settinghis hands on his thighs. “Will you meet him in the restaurant for breakfast?”
Instinct told her to say no, but she could only hide for so long. The issue was in the open now, and talking was the only way to find a way through it. A small sliver of her was already feeling guilty about withholding the secret from him. Truth be told, she just wanted the whole mess to be over and done.
“Give me an hour.”
