“Go talk to him. Whatever happens, we’ll be out here if you need us. Maybe your head doesn’t know what it wants, but your heart brought you here for a reason, Plum. We’ll talk about us in the morning.” Nick presses a kiss to my head, and Benson releases me.
Nervously, I step towards the door. I don’t know if Nick is right, but his plan is all I’ve got.
I tryto move quietly as I open the door to Kai’s bedroom and step inside. It’s pitch black in here, but a little bit of light from the doorway makes the room come into view.
Kai is lying on his back in his bed, and from here, I can’t tell if he’s awake or not. I’ve been too scared to take a breath before this moment, but as my lungs burn and I suck in air, his scent hits me like a brick to the face.
Fuck. If it was bad in the rest of the apartment, then his bedroom is unbearable. My own scent unleashes around me, frantically filling the small space with peppermint sweetness. A desperate attempt to soothe the beta that’s in so much pain.
Kai whimpers, his body shaking as he rolls onto his side, curling into a ball. Val must have helped him change his clothes when they got here because his dinner attire is gone, and he’s wearing sweatpants now.
“She’s in my dreams…” he murmurs, and I stop moving.
Fuck, he’s awake. I watch as he slowly sits up in bed and looks over in my direction. I don’t know how much of me he can see, with just the light from the doorway seeping in.
“I didn’t think I’d fall asleep tonight, but I’m glad I did.” His smile is weak and sad, tugging at my heart.
“I had to make sure you were okay,” I say, taking a few slow steps toward him. “But you don’t look okay.”
“No, I suppose I don’t.” He nods, moving to the edge of his bed until his feet touch the ground. I stand in front of him, unsure what to do next. “I don’t want to wake up,” he adds with a whimper, and I frown.
Does he really think this is a dream?
Reaching up, I caress his cheek softly, running my fingers through his hair. His body shudders under my touch, and he presses his face into the palm of my hand. He reaches for me, and I don’t stop him as his hands grip my hips, pulling me until the last few inches between us disappear.
When he nuzzles his face against my bare chest, I shiver.
“This isn’t a dream, Kai…” I whisper, pushing my hands into the hair at the back of his head.
“I wish this wasn’t a dream,” he mumbles, holding me tighter. “But I can only hold you like this when I dream. Fuck, I miss you so much.” He whimpers again, and this time I feel his tears as they dampen my skin. “If I never wake up, I can hold you like this forever.”
“Don’t say that,” I hiss, tugging his hair back and forcing him to look up at me. “This isn’t a dream, Kai. Don’t ever say that again.” A tight knot forms in my throat as tears burn my eyes. “Promise me,” I demand.
Kai blinks at me for several long seconds, not saying a word or moving at all.
“Kai,” I say again, cupping his face in the palm of my hands and moving until we’re nearly nose to nose. “Never again.”
“Plum?” he asks, releasing my waist, his hands traveling to my ribs and then my back. “I dream about you so often… I thought this was another one. This is real?”
“I couldn’t just leave you to suffer. I couldn’t lie in bed for another second, imagining you in pain, and do nothing. You don’t deserve that.” I’m running my hands through his hair. Itfeels right to touch him, but I don’t really know what the hell else to do or say.
“You should go. You shouldn’t have to see me like this.” Kai shakes his head, dropping his hands to the side of the bed.
“Let me decide what I should and shouldn’t do,” I tell him, hands still in his hair.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He nods, his eyes falling shut as he leans into my touch.
“I don’t know how to make this better,” I admit. Kai looks up at me, his eyes filled with sadness.
“Why do you think it’s your responsibility to make this better, Sweet Plum?” Kai asks, and for the first time since he returned, I think I might actually be talking to the man I knew all those years ago.
The real Kai. The wise kid who always knew exactly what I needed to hear.
The boy who grew into the man I loved.
“I’m the one who hurt you,” I whisper.
“No, you’re not. You were just honest with me. I did this to myself. You’re not responsible for the way I’m feeling or for making it better.” Kai turns his head into my hand, breathing in my scent. “I’m not strong enough to walk away, Plum. I’m so sorry, but you have to do it,” he says, cupping his hand over mine as he nuzzles my palm.
