He twisted across his desk and grabbed a notepad. Blank, nothing on the page as he put pen to paper. “Shall we begin?”
I shrugged and sat back, getting comfortable, and preparing for an argument. Another round of what’s wrong with you and me batting it all away, hoping he would listen this time. No one ever listened, and I had to admit I was growing tired of repeating myself. The idea of him not believing me stung a little worse than previous attempts at honesty with a doctor.
“I have something to run by you.”
A flirty response came to my lips, but I held it back and lifted an eyebrow. “Okay?”
“What if we start over?”
The man left that one to hang there for me. “If you want to pull the car around, I’m game.”
He rolled his eyes, but pride puffed out my chest at the little smile that accompanied it.
“No, I mean medically.” He picked up a stack of files off his desk and shoved them at me.
I didn’t take them. “What is that?”
“All the medical records I could charm and pry out of people regarding your care. You wouldn’t believe how much of a fight it was to get this, despite being—well working here.”
For a moment, I thought he would saybeing your doctor. But he’d stopped. Interesting. Seeing as my mother usually denied every single request for any records, I did believe it. “And what have you found out?”
His face darkened, and for a flash, I saw the man in the backseat of his car, fighting his desire to pillage and lay claim. I had to look away as the memories surged up behind it. “I learned that a lot of people have failed you. Way too many people have let you down. I understand why you keep pushing so hard against me. Why you keep fighting me every step of the way.”
It was my turn to get angry. “Oh yeah? Is that why I keep fighting you?”
I scanned his face, watching for a sign he was lying. They always did. It just took enough money to make them okay with it.
He swallowed heavily and continued. “You don’t trust me.”
I kept my opinion to myself. I didn’t trust anyone. But if I wanted to start trusting people, I might be persuaded to start with him. Because he fucked me? Maybe. Or because for the first time in a long time, someone wanted to help me, however misguided his attempts were.
He shifted and ran his hand through his dirty blond hair. “So, I propose we start over again with this.” He threw the folders onto the floor, and they slid sideways in a satisfying jumble. “Let me treat you as if you are a completely new patient. We start from ground zero and work our way from there.”
I watched him, the eagerness creasing his eyes and in the tight clutch of his fingers around each other. He leaned forward, elbows braced on his knees. Damn him for being so cute.
“What does that entail exactly?”
He sat back and spread his hands out. “Exactly what we are doing now. We’ll talk, chat, I’ll get to know you.”
“Are you sure you want to risk it?”
He let out a long huff, and his face went serious again. His lips set in a thin line. “Yes, but I need your help here. If we are going to do this properly, I need you to maintain the boundaries. Forget we slept together, forget you’re still attracted to me…”
He paused, and I waited, holding my breath. “And…”
He dragged his lip between his teeth. “Honesty. If we are going to do this, I need nothing but honesty from you. No secrets.”
He swallowed heavily. “And I’ll forget I’m still attracted to you.’
I kept my face neutral to his revelation, even as I felt something release in my chest, like a rubber band had been strapped around my heart waiting to pop off. Simply waiting for him to tell me he felt something for me, anything for me.
“So, we will keep this professional. Strictly professional and we will work together to get to the bottom of your case. Finally, get you the results you deserved years ago.”
It’s more than many had offered me over the years. I just wish it didn’t require me to shut down the parts of myself keeping me sane right now. The parts thinking about touching him and our time together. “Fine. Complete honesty, and professionalism. On both our parts.”
He leaned back and sighed. Then pulled the pad into his lap and tapped the pen against it. “Let’s start with the basics then.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for a question.
