“Can I walk youhome?”
She ambled back and forth on the sidewalk kicking her foot. “I guess you can, as long as you know I won’t invite youup.”
“Of course. I just want a chance to talk alittle.”
She didn’t answer but started toward her home, and I fell in step beside her. The summer air was fragrant from nearby flowerbeds, and the wind blew just on the good side of cool. It felt almost normal, meandering the Paris streets with her. Like we might be acouple.
But that wasn’t the case, as she kept remindingme.
“Can we startover?”
She glanced at me then back down the road. “Why do we need to start over? I didn’t think we needed a redo. I actually thought I was very clear about what this is orisn’t.”
My hands began to shake again, and I put them in my pockets. “Yes, you were clear about what you wanted. But I’m a businessman and an excellent negotiator. And I wantyou.”
She jerked to a stop. “Say thatagain.”
“I wantyou.”
She took another swig of coffee and gave me a long look. One of those weighed and measured sort of looks that leave you feeling naked. “I would like to say yes but I really don’t think that’s a goodidea.”
I swallowed the lump growing wider and wider in my throat. “Is it because I’m youremployer?”
“That, and the whole immortal thing is a littlemuch.”
This was one of the main reasons so few people knew about it. Relationships were definitely not improved by theknowledge.
And not exactly telling the truth had never been an option for me. I couldn’t pretend to want to spend forever with a woman when I knew it wasn’t going to be possible. I’d also never had the courage to attempt a family with mydisability.
I let the disappointment roll through me. Let it sink in. That would help me get over this, I told myself. I’d latched onto Izzy giving me a chance and allowing me to right the wrongs of my past. To make up for Sibyl’s death. When I first saw her, it had never occurred to me that she wouldn’t want metoo.
“What’s going on in that head ofyours?”
I realized we’d been standing silently for several minutes. “Nothing. Let me walk you home, and I’ll be on myway.”
Her eyebrows drew together into a cute little crease right above the beautiful slope of her nose. I tried to memorize everything about her in case I couldn’t get this closeagain.
She shook her head and started walking. We went silent, and my palms began to sweat more the closer we got to her door. As if that threshold would be the end forgood.
“Does it scareyou?”
Her question slapped me against the face, but it was one I’d considered before, so I had the answer to dig out of my head. “Yes and no. I’m afraid of the life I don’t get to live because of it. I won’t allow myself to have children. I can’t...” I gestured at her. “Have real relationships. I’m basically waiting forever to die. In that sense, it doesn’t scareme.”
She didn’t respond for a while. “And the evolution of the human race over the last 150 years, did that scareyou?”
I considered that bigger question. “A lot of things have changed and a lot of things haven’t. There is still so much hate in the world, so much inequality. I do enjoy the internet though. Andairplanes.”
“Airplanes are definitely a bonus. How did you travel aroundbefore?”
I had to think way back. “Horses, boats, that sort ofthing.”
“Soundsinconvenient.”
“No more inconvenient than now. You still had to plan, buy tickets, pack, and leave. It just took longer to geteverywhere.”
We wandered silently some more until I caught sight of her door closing in onus.
“I’m sorry about this afternoon,” she said, breaking the silence before we reached herbuilding.
