He felt eyes on him and glanced over to find Ewan watching him almost as intently as he’d been watching Megan.
“When all of this is over,” Ewan remarked, almost idly, “ye could keep her, ye ken.”
He snorted. “Keep her?”
“Aye. This betrothal is considered real. Our allies have accepted it, have acceptedher, and so the hard part is done. Ye have the council’s backin’. Yer sisters like her, and more to the point,yelike her. Ye could simply carry on with the betrothal and wed the lass.”
Ryder stared at his friend. “Ye cannae be serious.”
Ewan shrugged. “Why nae? We’ve done wilder things in our lives, havenae we?”
“Wilder things? Like what?”
“Like makin’ the gallop from Tattersea Pass all the way to Roofglade Keep, just the two of us, to warn Laird Roofglade of danger.”
“Well, we made it. We outran the wolves.”
“Aye, but it was touch and go whether we would.”
Ryder shook his head. “This isnae like that. This isnae warfare. It’s nae a feat of strength. It’s… It’s somethin’ else.”
“What else?”
“I daenae ken! Look, Megan would never agree to stay with me.”
Ewan folded his arms. “How do ye ken that? Ye havenae asked her.”
“I wouldnae ask it of her. She deserves better.”
“Better than a laird?”
“Better thanme.”
There was a brief silence after he’d spoken. Snorting, Ryder shook his head.
“I mean it, Ewan. She deserves the world.”
I am givin’ meself away,he thought.I never intended anybody to ken how much she means to me. Until now, I suppose I did a good job of even hidin’ it from meself.
Swallowing, he glanced away. At last, Ewan spoke.
“And what if she wants to stay, Ryder? Have ye thought of that?”
“She doesnae.”
“Ye daenaeknow. Daenae talk so confidently about somethin’ ye daenae yet understand.”
“She would nae choose to say,” Ryder pointed out, “because it would separate her from her family. She adores her family. She wants to return to her sisters.”
“Stayin’ here wouldnae force her to cut off her sisters. She’d simply live a wee bit further away. She chose to be here, Ryder. Shewantsto be here. Flora tells me that she adores the lassiesand grows more comfortable in the Keep every day. What if she doesnae want to return?”
Ryder raked his hand through his hair. He clawed for the words in his head. If he could just explain, he could tell Ewan exactly why Megancould notandmustnot form a real attachment to him or this place. If he could explain, surely Ewan would understand and stop going on about it. Every time the subject of Megan’s departure was brought up, Ryder felt a twinge of pain in his chest.
That was concerning. If he felt so anxious and miserable at the veryideaof her leaving, then he was not in control of the situation. He was not in control ofhimself.
“She stayed here out of duty,” Ryder said at last, his voice quiet. “That was all. Duty.”
“Her duty toye. Does that mean nothin’ to ye? Do ye nae understand how strongly she might feel for ye, Ryder?”
