Steel said nothing, and not just because he knew the questions were rhetorical.
Papaw leaned back on his elbows, groaning slightly as his back cracked. “You know, back in the day, when you were a youngster, I looked up to you.”
Surprised by not only the confession but also being called a ‘youngster’, Steel raised a skeptical eyebrow at his old training instructor. “Why the fuck would you do that?”
“You had everything figured out. You knew who you were. And despite that I too was a husband back then, you had this unshakable confidence about you. I never had that with Jenny, and we were married over thirty years before she died. But you and Jenna? The first time I saw the two of you together, I couldn’t help but wonder why my marriage wasn’t like that. And as much as I loved Jenny, I know now why it wasn’t. She wasn’t my One. Not like Jenna is for you, as Louisa is for me. I found my One, but you’ve had her, Jack.”
It had been a long time since anyone but Jenna called him ‘Jack’. Even his doctors called him ‘Steel’.
“I don’t know the pain of losing a child. I pray I am long dead by the time my children pass. But I do know one thing, Steel. Your strength comes from Jenna. Always has, always will. You think I didn’t know something was going on with Jenna long before the two of you told us about her illness? I knew. Because I saw the way you were with her, like she had an axe hanging over her head and you were terrified it was going to fall. Jenna’s not gone, Steel. I’m so fucking sorry about Melanie. But don’t lose your strength in your search for vengeance.” Papaw tipped his head towards Keys’ van. “Whatever it is the kid is going to find, promise me there will be something of you left when we’re done. After everything, Jenna deserves that, man. You haven’t seen her recently. She looks almost as bad as you do.”
Steel stiffened at the slight towards Jenna, his hands balling up into fists.
Papaw put his hands up in surrender. “I don’t mean that offensively, but it is true. She’s lost a lot of weight. She won’t go anywhere but home and church. We’re really worried about her.”
Steel’s fists tightened, but not in anger towards Papaw. Athimself. He was a heel. He was dirt. He waslowerthan dirt. He was the dirt worms ate and then shit out. He didn’t deserve to be called a father or a husband. Steel was a lot of things, but a man who abandoned his family in their time of need…? Heneverthought he wouldeverbe that man.
“I can’t go back,” he confessed to Papaw. “She knows and understands. I can’t, not until it’s done.”
Papaw didn’t argue or protest. He just nodded his head once and said, “Just make sure there’s enough pieces of you left for her when that happens.”
A whistle in the night caught their attention, and they looked up to see Ghost hanging out the back of the van and waving for them to come over.
Papaw stood before turning to offer Steel a hand up. Steel took it, allowing the older man to heft him to his feet. They nodded once, a silent understanding that they would do what they needed to do to see this through. On Steel’s part, though, it was also a vow. He needed to do better, tobebetter.
As they walked towards the van, Steel asked, “How’s Ollie?”
“Hurting. Missing his sister and his daddy,” was Papaw’s immediate answer. “But he understands. He’s getting his cast off soon. Either this Wednesday or next. I can’t remember shit like that. Louisa keeps me in line.”
Relief filled Steel that his son was getting better. He wanted to ask about Carter, Lucy, Drew, and Jordan, but they reached the van.
“…sort of lazy-ass detectives are they hiring these days? Are you fucking kidding me? An eight-digit password? And it’s your fuckingdog’sname? What the fuck!”
Steel frowned at Keys’ loud cursing from inside the van. All the lights were on in the back so he could clearly see inside. Ghost looked like he was getting a headache.
“Just get in here,” Ghost grumbled before stepping back.
“Fucking old geezer doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing,” Keys snapped as Steel and Papaw stepped up into the back.
Almost two years ago, Keys had purchased aFordTransit 250-Cargo Van and retrofitted it to be a computer lab on the go. One side was lined with monitors, a desk, and a chair on a track whereas the other side was the club’s version of an ambulance. The vehicle had certainly come in handy a time or two.
“Who the fuck are you calling old?” Steel demanded.
“The fucking detective on Melanie’s case,” Keys answered. Papaw closed the door behind them. Frustrated, Keys let out what could only be described as a cub growl, slammed his hand down on the desk, and then swiveled in his chair to face them. “I’ve got nothing. There’s nothing on the server about Melanie’s case.”
Steel stiffened, his anger starting to rise. “They closed it?”
He was getting ready to add the detective’s name to his list when Keys said, “No. It’s still open. But it’s not updated. There’s nothing on the server. My guess is, based on what I’ve seen with this guy’s records, he’s old-school. Probably still uses, like, a pen and paper.” The sheer audacity in Keys’ voice showed he forgot the age of the other men in the van with him. “If we want to learn what the police know, we’re going to have to get it ourselves.”
“Keys couldn’t find a connection between Tracy Marigold and Melanie,” Ghost explained when Steel and Papaw just stared at Keys like he had grown a second head. “Since we have no other leads and Shaw’s not in any condition to answer questions, I suggested Keys look to see what the police have discovered so far.”
Keys crossed his arms over his chest and pouted, the hunched position making his glasses slide down his nose. “This guy literally keeps nothing on his computer. Who the fuck doesn’t have social media nowadays?”
Steel, Ghost, and Papaw each raised a hand.
Keys blinked. “Oh.”
Steel turned to Ghost. He was feeling better since eating, but there was no feelinggood. That physically and emotionally wasn’t possible right then. “You think the police know something we don’t?”
